Sunday, May 31, 2009

envisioning romance

Love is in the roommate just recently got engaged, and that leaves me gearing up for another wedding. We just picked out the dresses. We ordered it online, so I am praying that it fits. I am likely to have to do some kind of alteration, but we will see in a few short days. I also just attended a wedding this afternoon. Lovely, short and simple, but full of love nevertheless. So, all this love in the air, and I am hoping to catch some of it sooner than later. That seems to be my mantra lately...sooner than later. It is true. What I don't say is that sometimes I really wish it were yesterday. One of my favorite movies captures the desperate heart of this when she says, "I even wish it were yesterday. Because that would mean that *today* I would be on my honeymoon, that I would *finally* have a stamp in my passport, and that it would say *Italy* on it." (While You Were Sleeping) Sometimes, it all seems so daunting and time is flying by and well, you know. But the phrase that comes to mind again, even as I share this is "I would rather have it be right, than right NOW." And that is even more true than the moments of longing. I went to a conference this weekend, and one of the speakers encouraged us to be visionaries again. To lay our dreams out again and dare to hope that now is the time for them. Getting married and having a family is one of the biggest dreams I have. My friend Stephanie put a ginormous ring on my left ring finger, and I began to joke that it was helping me envision what was coming. I certainly do not need a big ring like the one that sat on my finger but it was fun for the moment. And what this speaker called us to do was the very thing God asked me to do this year. Dare to dream again, and believe that God's word and promise will not return void or empty. He will bring me a family, starting with my husband. And for that, I am grateful.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

up too late writing....

My sleep recently got thrown all outta whack since going on a road trip down to Spirit West Coast and doing the late nights for K-Life. I had a ton of fun, but I am finding it easy to stay up late and hard to get up early...

But anyway, while we were there, we got to see a speaker named Nick Vujicic. He was born without arms or legs, and he has had to deal with all of the questions and frustrations that situation brings. He lives in joy and hope, and from what I can tell, he lives like this most of the time. His secret? A deep reliance on the Lord, and a revelation of his purpose in Christ. He made me laugh, and made me cry...and spoke deep to my heart. He said, "Fear is a greater disability than having no arms and no legs." I am beginning to see how true this is. Through God's strength, we can do all things. But when we allow fear to wrap itself around us, we are bound. We cannot move. We give up. A person without arms and legs can move and do many things...but a person bound in fear is paralyzed. He/she may go through the motions of life, and seem okay, but deep down, that person is not accomplishing his/her purpose, and begins to live in despair. This is the condition many find themselves in. Nick also spoke about the lie that we are meant to do this alone. We are not, and yet we live out our lives as though we are. God is our greatest support and ally. He lifts us when we fall and gives us solid ground to stand on. I am inspired by this man, and am encouraged to find the deep joy he has received from the Father.

If you are interested in learning more about him, go to

Wednesday, May 20, 2009


I am called His beloved. I am His and He is mine. But this morning I realized that as I am called beloved, He is calling me to be loved. Be loved, He says, and don't let yourself be held back. Be loved and live in joy.

Be loved, beloved.