sweet victory.

So, on my last post, I was coming fast upon running my first 5k ever.  I was really uncertain, but knew deep down that despite my doubts, I needed to try.  (Side note: I've realized that I don't really like to do things if I am not certain I can do them well...)

My friend Katie messaged me and asked if she could join me.  I had never run with a partner before...and even better, she is about 6 10 inches taller than me.  We had NO idea if we would make good partners, but I figured it would be nice given all of my nerves.  If anything, she could encourage me to keep going when I wanted to quit.

Day of the race:

We are READY!

So, I got up at like 6am (P.S. I only get up that early for a small handful of reasons, like Jesus, paid work and vacations...NOT exercise.) and Katie came over to carpool.  We got there with plenty of time to walk around to warm ourselves up.  Then we ran.  Not fast, but we ran.  We ran up the smaller hills, and chatted the whole time.  We cheered people on as they started coming back (putting me slightly to shame!).  The first mile or so seemed easy, and we enjoyed the beautiful day.  We were running along the ocean!  Then came the big hill.  In all my running, I had been used to slight inclines, but not this.  But I was determined to run the WHOLE time.  That and that alone was my goal!  (besides finishing...hah.)

About halfway up that blasted hill, my breathing became quite labored.  But I was still focused.  Others were walking.  Katie, so faithful, gently said, "We're halfway there.  Keep going."  I am pretty sure I said out loud several times, "COME ON, you can do this."  Haha, and we did.  I got to the top and threw my hands up over the small victory of not stopping to walk.  It took almost the whole run down the hill to regain normal breathing again, but we did it.  And in fact, we had sped up, so Katie reminded me to take it easy.  We weren't done yet.

I am pretty sure that trying to drink water was a mistake...it only made me hiccup and nauseated.  One mile left.  We kept on.  And when we reached the finish line, my roommate and another friend were LOUDLY cheering.  It was so encouraging.  (that and the volunteers along the road...they were perfect for the job.  Their cheers made me smile and want to push through.)

I DID IT.  I didn't stop.  And even though I didn't have the "best" time, I did it.  (42 mins, which I argue would have been faster if it weren't for that hill...!)  I still don't *like* running, but I am going to keep going.  In fact, Katie and I are running partners now.  She's such an inspiration and she doesn't mind running at my pace.  I am bailing on her tonight due to heat exhaustion...slightly kidding...but we are doing it.  Next stop...10k!  (and maybe a few more 5k races in between)

And for those who aren't sure you can...(just like me):

"If you never try, you'll never know what you are capable of."

John Barrow

i felt like runnin'...

I just finished week 5 of the Couch to 5k running program, and I thought I'd give an update. I just met a major milestone, not just in this program, but really in my life. As I explained earlier, I am not by nature a runner. Not one bit. So, not even in high school when they made us run sometimes do I remember running this long. Maybe I could do a mile, with some walking. And yesterday, I ran 20 minutes, 2 miles, without walking. No, it's not a high paced speed, but jogging to me is running. And I am beyond proud of myself.

Before I went out to tackle this latest challenge, I felt really uncertain. The longest time without walking that I had done was 8 minutes. I felt it was a HUGE jump to go from running for 8 minutes with walking then 8 minutes again to a whole 20 minutes. I actually doubted I could do it. But I prayed. I prayed for the strength to last and to push through no matter what I felt. And so I went out. I had driven the area I was running in, in a way to mentally prepare and understand where I'd meet certain goals. I knew where it was one mile. I started to go. I kept going. When I hit 10 minutes straight, I celebrated a little inside. I hit the mile. A little more celebrating. I kept going. I wouldn't say it was easy, but surprisingly, it felt easier to keep going than taking the walking breaks. My body was ready for the challenge. The last two minutes were the most challenging, where I just kept telling my tired self that I had made it that far so I could make it all the way. And I did. I made it.

I am more than halfway to my goal. I started out in a place where running for 3 minutes at a time was hard. Now that is the easy part. It amazes me how much our bodies can be pushed and can do more and more. When I started, I couldn't wrap my head around running for 20 minutes straight, let alone a 5k. But now, I see that I can, and will do it.



This picture and the video I showed you in my first blog about running are the reasons I started this. You might look at this picture and think I look nice, but seeing this picture made me sad. I had been fighting to lose weight for months, well, really years, and I was back in the range of being the heaviest I've been. I knew I needed to make a real decision to dig in and be healthy. I still struggle. My trip/birthday week threw me off in my eating habits, and I am just now getting that back on track. But I kept running. I am not sure what is different, but I have a motivation that won't quit. Even when I don't feel like it, I still find the time to run.

I haven't lost much weight, but again, I feel different. I can't wait to share with you once the weight starts coming off more. In fact, I am tempted to take pictures in that same outfit throughout the process. We'll see. I am just taking this one day at a time!

running

I was once overheard saying that the only way to get me to run was by chasing me from behind with a knife. I think I was traumatized by the "Friday Fun Run" in high school and I never looked back. It was NOT fun. But I found myself trying to figure out how to lose weight, and not ever quite getting there. And then my brother posted this video.



I thought to myself, "If this man could do it, so can I." So, I looked up ways to ease into running. I found the Couch to 5k program. It is now week 3. It's amazing how sometimes it is quite easy. It's like my body is celebrating the fact that I am making it do things it is not used to doing. And other days it's harder, and I have to press through to finish what I started. I have started out with walking and jogging. Each week adds a new challenge, and it seems that even though it gets harder, I am ready for it when it comes. I am most proud that I have stuck to this. I can't say that I like running. But I don't hate it. In fact, it is teaching me about pushing through and persevering in a very practical way.

It's funny to me that the pounds aren't just melting off...in fact, sometimes I feel like I am gaining weight. However, my body is changing, firming up, slimming down. I am excited to see this through. In the past, I have not wanted to say out loud what I want to accomplish for fear of not following through. But I can't waste time worrying about that.

Instead, I am taking the one two approach and hitting it hard by re-joining weight watchers at the same time. There is a fight within me that wants to get there. To lose the weight I need to be healthy.

There are a lot of fears...and of course, they are irrational. Fear of failing. Fear of accomplishing and what that would mean for my life. Fear that I'd get there and then somehow end up back where I started...which would almost be worse than failing in the first place. I am looking fear in the face and moving...jogging forward.

As I meet some markers, I'll share. But really so far I consider it a great accomplishment to have not only started it and not missed a day, but to have taken being active much more seriously in the last 4 months. I know it will pay off.