Sunday, August 29, 2010

weekend.

This weekend I crossed off one of the first of the 29 things on my list! I went wine tasting...and it was so fun! Our first place, Cougar Vineyard ended up being my favorite and Stephanie and I joined their wine club. We liked all of their 9 wine samples, which is surprising...the other two places offered less samples (for more money) and we liked 50% of them or less. So, I am excited I've crossed off something on my list...and look forward to crossing off more! I also got to have tea with friends the other weekend. Next up I think will be baking the pie from scratch and seeing NEEDTOBREATHE at least twice. I've started the reading the bible in a year, but that will not be accomplished until next July!



I also was asked to do a photo of eyes and submit it to Photo Freak. I got my entry in too late, but I thought I'd share it here. I took it on the way back from our trip. :)

Thursday, August 19, 2010

in and out

This blog posting is brought to you by Katie who brought hers via this blog which I am now following. Gotta love the blog world. Anyway, today's entry brings you what is in and what is out...and if you read this, you should do the same! What is in and out in my world today?

In
+ New music by NEEDTOBREATHE and their upcoming show with Train and then their fall/winter tour. They are always in, really, and you can look at yesterday's blog for a video of one of their new songs!
+ Being introduced to musicians I have not heard of and loving them. Examples: Jillian Edwards, Sleeperstar, Ella Mae Bowen, Green River Ordinance, Matt Hires, Nathan Angelo ---> Check em out!
+ Mexican chocolate anything...hot chocolate, cookies, mochas. Yum!
+ Vintage-y flower-y prints. I am on the lookout for shirts that have this kind of look or this (more the pattern than style of shirt)
+ Longer hair. I go through seasons, and right now, I want long hair. I have shorter medium length hair. Patience and not getting my haircut for a while is going to help get closer to this goal!
+ Traveling. In all forms. Not staying at home just because there isn't a "good" reason to go out of town.
+ Putting all of my hope in Jesus, instead of defaulting to myself.
+ Hip hop class. It is baller. Enough said.
+ Cardigans. Always a classic staple for any wardrobe. I think I own about 12.
+ Having a roommate that wears your size. Doubled wardrobe, baby.
+ Jewelry with nature! I realized that I have necklaces with leaves, birds, trees, owls, flowers...and those are my favorite ones in rotation right now. Oh and my buffalo nickel one too!

Example:



Out
- Gladiator sandals. There are the kinds that look cute and kinda look like gladiator sandals, and then there are the full on studded, strappy gladiator sandals. Makes me throw up a little in my mouth.
- The whole Twilight series and all its uproar. I realize this will offend some people, but it too makes me ill. Reminds me of drama/emotions in high school I'd rather not re-visit.
- Running for exercise. I admire those who do, but still despise it.
- Having to listen to a guy hacking and coughing for the last two months above where I work. It's gross. Go to the doctor.
- Not being able to do laundry without saving quarters and going outside to the laundry room. I miss that about my old place.

Okay, what's in and out in your world?

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Devil's been talkin'

My favorite band, NEEDTOBREATHE, has recently been singing a new song called "Devil's been talkin", and since I first heard it, that phrase has been a theme in my life, serving as a reminder.



I remember when I first began really having a relationship with God. I was overwhelmed by His grace, and felt like all the things I had done wrong were completely washed away. And they were. But somewhere in between then and now, as God began to show me the deeper issues of my heart so I could deal with them and move closer to being like Him, I began to lose sight of grace. Instead of seeing an opportunity for more healing and transformation, I began to see through eyes of condemnation and shame. Because I keep sinning and messing up, it feels worse because I "shouldn't" be that way. "Shouldn't" I be more like Jesus?

This morning, God spoke to my heart. He showed me that the things He's showing me now about my flaws and character issues are things I couldn't handle or understand when I first came to Him for forgiveness. Rather, He is peeling off the layers of who I've been so that He can show me how to be more like Him. So instead of kicking myself for being such a "terrible" person, I just need to bring those areas to Him so He can forgive and show me where to go from here. How often I choose to kick myself instead! It says in Romans 8:1-2 "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death." But oh how the Devil would like us to live in condemnation! He talks and talks and talks, showing us our sin all while trying to convince us that we should know better and be better. That because we are such horrible sinners parading around as Christians, we don't have the right to live in grace. And if we agree, we become weighted by shame and unable to move forward...living in a world where we know the truth but don't live in it.

The truth---Christ has set me FREE! Yes, I still mess up, and yes, I have a long way to go to become more like Jesus...but because of His sacrifice, I am free. No condemnation. No kicking myself. Pretty amazing. I just need to live in the truth and stop listening to that ol' Devil!

Monday, August 9, 2010

beyond.

Late in July, I wrote about how my car had this big repair bill that I really couldn't afford, and how even though it seemed crazy at the time, I just knew God would provide. Well, He did. Big time. It's funny how many ways He can choose to provide...I have heard of stories of random checks coming in the mail, people repaying old debts just when money was needed the most, money just showing up in bank accounts, or friends giving to friends because God has led them to. In this case, my family and friends gave, some little, some overwhelmingly a lot, and all together they gave me more than I ended up paying on my car. So, not only did I get what I needed, but I was blessed beyond.

God spoke to me about his abundant provision at the end of 2009, and I wrote about it here. It's amazes me how true His word has been for me this year. I have been so blessed! I got to travel to a place I've never been, I've had enough to fix my car, and have made great progress on paying off debt. I have amazing friends, and am seeing God move in the lives around me. God is showing me how much I am capable of, and how much He loves me.

It's humbling to receive such a large gift. Really humbling. I know God is helping me to get over the idea that I have to work so hard for everything I need/want, and that I don't deserve the extras. That idea has been so engrained in me for years... I have long believed that if I didn't get "it" for myself, then I wouldn't have "it". (Insert whatever you want for "it", promotions, relationships, money/provision, etc.) This, of course, meant that I could never ever ask for help. Even in this situation, I told my friend Stephanie that God had showed me that if 100 people gave me $10 for my birthday, that would pay for my car. I told her that I could not ask people to do that. God was gracious, and Stephanie replied "but I can!" I hate pride and how it makes you think that you don't need anyone to help. That you can do it on your own. It's such a lie! It's the lie that Adam and Eve believed in the garden. It's an awful lie. One that steals away from not only amazing relationships with people, but with God. We were created to receive God's blessings. And when we turn Him away, we withhold ourselves from that. One of my favorite quotes expresses this:

"Man finds it hard to get what he wants, because he does not want the best; God finds it hard to give, because He would give the best, and man will not take it." -George MacDonald

I have watched a skit that our church does several times and there is one part that always catches my attention. This person who is struggling with many things including greed, depression, and vanity, meets pride. In this case, she has been knocked down by her struggles and pride comes along and offers his arm to help her up. He encourages her to push away Jesus and get up on her own, without His help. She does, and with the help of pride, she stands, only to be knocked down again. That is what pride does. It pushes away what we need, only to knock us down again. God warns us against pride, "Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall." Proverbs 16:18

My prayer is that God will help me learn to receive what I need and want from Him, and that feelings of either pride or being undeserving will no longer hinder me from that. His blessings are so amazing! And I want to receive the BEST from Him! I know that this birthday gift is only a small scratch at the surface of what He wants to give me, and I cannot wait to see what the rest of the year holds.