Wednesday, March 31, 2010
I started the day with an open sweater and thanks to a coffee spill in the car, ended up buttoning up the rest of the day. I kinda like it. Also changed into jeans later. :)
Sweater, yellow top and jeans- All Target...surprised? You shouldn't be. Almost all of my wardrobe consists of Target clothes.
Black pants from earlier- Old Navy
Adorable tree necklace- unknown, received as a gift. LOVE.
Boring shoes not worth mentioning or photographing were simple black kitten heels.
Thus ends day 3 of the fashion fest! Go check out Emery's blog for more delish outfits (linked above)!!!
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
This morning as I was waking up, I got to listen in on a beautiful interaction between a dad and his little girl. It was a simple exchange of good-byes, each getting more and more exuberant and full of love. Back and forth, like a song. It made me think of how our relationship with God should be. So pure and lovely, brimming with expectation for reunion.
Later today, I met a man who just received the gift of hearing through the use of aids. He grinned ear to ear when he shared that he got to hear the birds outside his house for the first time, and that he understood every word his granddaughter said to him.
On a similar note, but in stark contrast, I saw a blind man walking with his stick helping to guide him when I was driving home. I found myself wondering what the world would be like if I were blind or deaf, or something else that would alter the way I live now. It made me grateful that I could notice the little things and cherish them...like the interaction this morning or even seeing the joy on this man's face. Each thing was full of gratefulness, or at least stirred it up within me.
I know I have a list of things that I have yet to see...but there are so many more things that God has already blessed me with. As I was reflecting on these thoughts, this verse came to mind- "Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they?" I know that I am being taken care of, and I am grateful that I am able to see that.
Dress- my first Anthropologie purchase (which I do not regret one bit!)
Charcoal gray tights- Kohls
Red flats for pizazz- Mervyns (which is now closed!)
Black cardigan- Target
Necklace- random boutique store at a concert venue in Del Mar
I love looking at other people's fashion choices, and like I was telling Katie, this is a great way to feel good about yourself because so many people leave such sweet comments! Go to Emery's page to see more fashion and leave some words of blessing!
Monday, March 29, 2010
We have had impeccable Spring weather...until today. I was like, what the...fog? I am so ready for Spring, it is not even funny...so come rain or shine, I will do my best to represent Spring here in (normally) beautiful California.
Lovely Lucchese Boots- Boot Barn on clearance :)
White sweater, brown tank, and cute skirt- Target
Awesome buffalo nickel necklace- my mom
Check out the rest of the fun fashion blogs here: http://emeryjo.blogspot.com/
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
I wrote this years ago, possibly 5-6, and have dusted it off from time to time...knowing that this song was given to me from God for my life. It has been a while since I've strummed it or sang its tune; but this morning, as I began to really ask God what has been holding me back, He brought these words back from the dust and ashes. And as I went over them in my head, and attempted to sing them out loud, I broke about the third line in. The song I had written so long ago was showing me that its warning had been long drowned out, and that indeed, I was not so sure who I was anymore, or if I even liked myself.
Sometimes there is an ugliness that runs deep inside of us that we don't want to admit to or face, so we ignore it. Sometimes we embrace it. And sometimes we know it's there, but cannot name it. In that place, it grows until it takes us over and affects all that we do OR until we do something about it.
The beautiful thing about my realization is that I have that choice. Let it grow or cut it down. God gave me that song for a reason. Those words are etched upon my heart. I don't want to continue to feel this way...afraid, dreamless and not wanting to look at the person in the mirror in front of me. I want to know with confidence who I am and like it. Honestly, I am not quite sure where to start, except trusting the One I adore. The beautiful truth is that even when I lose my way, if I trust Him, I will find myself again.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
I recently bought a plant for my living room. I knew it was real, but some of my friends thought it was fake. We forgot to water it for a month and it was still green. One friend said, “See...it is fake.” They actually thought it was funny that I believed it was real. I began to doubt what I knew was true. After an extended overseas trip, I came home to find this plant was drooping down limp and its color was bright yellow. I couldn’t believe my eyes. It was real! Today what dreams or hopes do you think are fake? You might even become so convinced you stop watering those aspirations altogether. Yet I want to encourage you: with God nothing is impossible. Maybe today, if you nourish your mind and heart from the living waters of His Word, the dreams God has given you will not only survive, but thrive.
I opened my email today to read this story by a man I have mentioned before named Nick Vujicic. Little does he know that this topic has been a theme weaving its way into my life lately, and that this story speaks to my heart more than he knows. I love that he used a plant analogy, much like mine a while back. But when this man speaks about dreaming and that nothing is impossible with God, I know he is speaking from experience. He is a man with no arms or legs, living out God's dream for his life by reaching the world through his testimony. He glorifies God in everything he says and does.
I have recently realized how small my dreams are. They are very self-focused in a lot of ways, as well; although I believe that God wants to bless me in many of them. What I have been afraid to do, though, is let God bring His dreams into my heart. Dreams that require faith. Dreams that go beyond what I am capable of accomplishing on my own. Some of those dreams have been given to me, and like Nick described, I stopped watering them, believing that they were fake. I am not sure how to receive and nurture the dreams that God wants to give me, but I know it starts with God's word. Thank you, Nick, for sharing your thoughts on this and being one of many people who have been around me lately, encouraging me to dream again.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Thank goodness it's Friday! Oh, the good ol' days when Friday nights meant sitting in front of the television and catching a few favorite t.v. shows like Full House and Family Matters...hahaha. Today, I don't watch t.v., except a few shows online like 24 that are too good to miss! I only mention all of this because I had that song in my head that would always preceed the line-up of Friday night shows. No, I won't be watching t.v. tonight...I will be at band practice. :) I love band practice. And I cannot believe how this week flew by. I also feel much better than I did this time last week! It has been a decent week.
Only one month until I leave for my vacation, which really makes me giddy to think about! I am looking forward to experiencing something different, and meeting a ton of new friends. I get to eat yummy southern food and visit historical sites...and I get to see NeedToBreathe!!! Three days in a row. Then I get to come home and my brother is going to fly out and see me!
Oh, and before all of that, my childhood best friend is coming to California for about a week. I have so much to look forward to in the next month or so...I feel like time is going to just disappear while I go along for the ride.
It's my brother's birthday this month...which really for me means that mine is right around the corner. It is freaking me out a little that I am going to be 29. The last year of my 20s. How did THAT happen?!? At least I know that this last year is being marked with some fun and adventure. Sometimes I feel like I am getting younger instead of getting older...and then I remember that we are moving forward. Haha, but age really is just a number, I have come to believe. So, even though I am being forcefully propelled toward my 30s, I am not getting old.
Sorry this is a random mish-mash of thoughts, but eh. I am off to go sing and worship for a bit, and even though I am on-call for work (boo :/), I am excited for the weekend...and all of the fun stuff that is rapidly approaching ahead!
Sunday, March 7, 2010
This morning, I went to church and made it through the first song without crying...but at the beginning of the second one, I couldn't sing the words without choking up. I began to get frustrated because truth be told, worship is not about me OR my emotions, but here I was...SO focused on them that I could not engage with God without feeling sorry for myself. Then the third song began...and the words "Let God arise, let God arise, our God reigns now and forever, He reigns now and forever!" rang out and spoke deep. God reigns. He reigns in me. This means that He reigns in my emotions and my thoughts and my circumstances IF I let Him arise. If I try to shut the door on Him and give free reign to how I feel, then I will be ruled by what I give myself over to. But if I let God arise and take His rightful position, then all of those emotions will be put into check.
In an instant, I felt like the confusion of emotion was lifted off and I could think straight again. All I needed to do was let God arise. Let Him lead me. Such a beautiful thing.
To add to this, I have been hearing lots of stories about people sticking pennies on walls and asking God to hold them there. Sounds like a crazy thing, right? Well, if you have ever read the Old Testament, God has done much crazier things than that to show His abilities. Haha. But anyway, I told my brother about it and he decided to try it. Here is his penny on his door. Last time he checked, it was still up (which meant it had been up for at least 5 days...)
Monday, March 1, 2010
“Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today.”
“Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.”
“To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.”
“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure its worth watching.”
These quotes above are only a handful of quotes about life. Life is a rich thing, but very unpredictable. I was reminded of that again today when I heard about a former co-worker who passed away in her sleep this weekend. She was still fairly young. It just shows that you never know...
-when you will make your last phone call. Make sure to say what you need to before you hang up.
-when you will laugh your last laugh. Make sure to enjoy the moment to its fullest.
-when you'll take your last breath. Thank God for each one, and breath deep.
-when you will dance your last dance. Stop caring what people think and go for it!
-when you will see a loved one for the last time. Tell them you love them, and don't be afraid to be real with them.
-when you will go to work for the last time. Give it your best and don't sweat the small stuff.
-when you will see your last sunset. Take in the colors, the lights, the beauty God has put on display for you.
-when you will look at yourself in the mirror for the last time. Don't be so critical or harsh. Remember that God created you in His image, and every part of you was handcrafted.
-when you will sing your last song. Let it be one worth singing.
-when you hug someone for the last time. Don't be so rushed to let go.
Remember that tomorrow is a gift that you don't want to waste. Live fully and love without fear. Sometimes we just need that simple reminder.