Have you ever felt like you've been battered and bruised deep inside, only to realize that you've been fighting yourself? Swinging low, swinging hard, beating yourself up for any number of reasons...
If only...
What if I had...
I used to be like...and now...
I should...
I wish I had...
It's a dangerous game...regret. One that not only keeps you from being blessed, but also steals from who you are, who you are meant to be. It leads to shame...keeps you looking down instead of up. Leaves you waiting for the next blow to fall. Except it usually doesn't, and you beat yourself up because you think you deserve it. Or you live your life wondering when the next person is going to come along and tell you that you were right. You should have, why didn't you? And then you'd feel justified in your shame.
But what about grace? Grace almost hurts more because you know you don't deserve it. When grace pours over you, you don't know what to do. We don't know how to receive grace. People rarely bestow grace...we are used to judgment and criticism and blame...not grace. So, what about grace?
We need grace. It turns the voice of doubt and shame into hope. Hope that you can look up again and you don't have to work so hard to get back to that imaginary place where you thought you might have deserved it once. Hope that for once you can get back up and not worry if you fall again. Grace takes the fear of failing away. It gives you the hope to try again. Grace is beautiful and complex. It wipes away the tears of disappointment and regret and urges you to move forward. And when you do, you free fall into possibility. You open the door instead of close it.
Give yourself grace. Give others grace. And most importantly, receive God's grace. There is nothing more freeing than that. In it you can begin to expect the unexpected with full anticipation...no more looking back or pushing yourself down. Open up to grace.
g r a c e
No comments:
Post a Comment