It has been a quiet season here on this blog over the last six months or so. But it doesn't mean my life has been quiet. I sometimes felt like I am talking to God about certain topics non-stop, not always sure that He's listening or if He cares. In the last month, I've seen God answer. Some of these prayers have been laid over the last few years, and some only the past few months.
Take my brother, for example. He has been living in Las Vegas for the past 8 or so years. We have all been hoping that he could return to CA, but jobs and various other circumstances stood in the way. When he came to visit me in May 2010, I saw him light up. I saw possibility spring into his mind, and mine. And I began to pray. Sometimes I put that prayer away, and other times, my prayers concerning my brother would take up all my thoughts...like they did in May 2012, when he lost his job. I knew God was going to do something but didn't know what. So I prayed. He was applying everywhere for a job, and I encouraged him to apply where I live. Why not? Eventually, I felt like he needed to just come and visit. He could apply to jobs here and be available for interviews. So, at the beginning of July, we conspired. And he came.
He arrived on a Friday. By Monday, he was offered a job. A week later, he found a place to live within walking distance of where I live. And this last weekend, he moved here and started his job. God answered.
One of my prayers and dreams this year was to sing more. It was a promise given to me by God, and as I started the year, I had some doors opening that I thought were going to fulfill that. And then by May, they began to shut. I was so frustrated, but held onto the promise. I knew that just because a door was shutting, it didn't necessarily mean that door was the door to that dream. There could be another way.
In late June, I found myself trying out to lead a song, a full song, for worship. I was so incredibly nervous...feeling like this was my one chance, and it could slip through my fingers, like the other door that had shut. I didn't sound like myself, and I knew it. But halfway through, I stopped caring so much and decided to focus on God. I sang to Him. It still sounded off, but it was my way of leaving it in His hands.
To my amazement, I was chosen. I felt like I didn't deserve it, but I could feel God pushing me to believe. Thankfully the nerves that made me sound so foreign didn't seize me on the day I was meant to sing. I was still nervous...it's an incredible call to lead people into worship. God met me that morning, and began to answer that prayer.
There are other prayers that I am fervently bringing to His attention, and I still, despite seeing these great things unfold, hesitate in my belief sometimes. But I have to proclaim boldly with thanks, God answers. He hears. He loves. So thankful.