Sunday, December 27, 2009
never been asked
Flashback to high school. I went to four high school dances, including prom, but I was never asked. Imagine a 17 year old girl wanting to go to prom, and time passes by...no one asking. I ended up asking a sophomore to go with me, just so I could go. For years before this, and even a few years after, I believed that if I wanted to date a guy, I needed to do the pursuing. Otherwise, it would not happen. God began to show me that I needed to change my perspective and learn to be pursued. And it has been a journey...sometimes it feels like it has been a loooooong journey. But I have been waiting.
Why the flashback? Why bring it up now? In two weeks, I get to re-live "prom" thanks to two of my friends who are dating. The guy is re-creating prom for his girlfriend since she has never gone. Because I am a close friend to both, they want me there. Here lies the dilemma. It requires a date. Insert flashback here. Maybe you can even insert some of that horror "ree ree ree ree" music too. Haha. I have been single for ten years. And still have never been asked. I don't have high expectations that I will be asked to this prom by the man of my dreams and be swept away...that would be nice, but honestly, not expected. BUT I would like to be asked. Even if it is just by a friend. The last time I faced this experience was about 5 years ago. I did not get asked. I wanted to go, and so did several of my girl friends. We ended up going as a group, and two of the girls dressed up like guys, but girl-ified. The only saving grace for me that night was that a dear friend, who had asked someone else to go, asked me to dance...not once, but twice. This same friend has built a determination in me not to settle for anyone less than a gentleman.
Truthfully, I don't really even want to go. Why? Because I don't want any guy to feel like he has to take me, and I don't want to go unless I am asked. That's a lot of pressure on a situation...and to me, it just does not feel like it is worth it. I am not sure how it will all pan out, because I want to go and be there with my friends. I just don't want it to end up feeling like high school all over again. One day, I won't have to worry about this. One day, I will have a husband to be my date, and he will have asked me. Until then, I wait...and hope that this all works out.