enough.

Last weekend I was having a conversation with an older woman about how a young church like mine could benefit from more women like her. She said something that struck me and stuck with me for the rest of the day. Basically she shared that her generation has to make an effort to be involved in the younger generation, that sometimes that effort proves to be difficult and many go where less effort is required.

You see, I am a part of a church that, if it can, wants to reach the WORLD for Jesus. And we've started in the world right around us. I am so proud of my church and its heart for Jesus and people. We are not perfect, but we live in grace. In our efforts to reach the world, we do a lot. People can get overwhelmed by doing too much, especially if their heart is not in it. Then sometimes we stop doing, and as a result begin to feel guilty. The thing is, it is not about doing...not just for the sake of doing. It doesn't matter what we DO. God is concerned about our hearts. And it ought to be that what we do comes from the heart.

I had the thought after this conversation that I never want to be in a place where I feel I am doing enough. Don't read that wrong. This is not about works or feeling inadequate. It's about my heart. I don't want to ever feel like I've arrived...like I can't grow or learn or do anymore. I want to save my arrival for when I meet Jesus face to face. I want my relationship with Him to always be alive, always feeling like it is not enough. I know my weakness. I know that I have the choice to live out many years with Him and then one day decide to sit back and say "that's enough". I know that I may play with the thought of disengaging and just going through the motions. Go to church. Read my bible. Pray. All without life or adventure.

No, I don't ever want to be in a place of "enough".