Sunday, February 11, 2007


I wrote this a while back, but I wanted to share...

Have you ever dreamt a dream so big that you know you could not do it on your own? One that is impossible by the world’s standards? I have lived my life running from those kinds of dreams because I have collected a list of excuses that boil down to fear and shame. I have distracted my mind with mindless daydreams, afraid to risk a dream bigger than myself, surrounding myself with the comfort of not facing reality. I have hidden behind a wall because circumstances have told me that I could never…and I have kept my mouth shut because my worth had been given up on. I told myself I lost faith in love, I lived just out of reach, and I was invisible. I have looked down because I felt the weight of what I deserved and could not look past it. And then Jesus came. He took my hands in his, let me touch his scars, kissed my face, and loved me, just as I am. He showed me that everything that has bound me or held me back has been cast off. He paid the price to set me free. The guilt offering has been made, and I owe nothing. And He’s daring me to dream again. He’s whispering my purpose, one that had been locked up for fear of disappointment. He calls me to come, follow Him. More than that, He is calling me to believe in the same dream as my ancestor Abraham. To be a mother of nations, part of a redemptive plan that God Himself orchestrated through generations and lays in my hands. Do I dare to count the stars and believe? Do I dare to stand in my faith and let Him dream with me? Or do I discard it all because I cannot control the outcome or the means to get there? Tonight I finally felt permission to dream again as I have been shedding layers of excuses and pain. To be a part of something greater than myself leaves me with nothing but an open heart and tears of joy. Tonight I got a hold of a small part of a great vision of God’s heart for people…I have been reading about the laws of Moses’ time, when the people were instructed to take care of each other and not allow others among them to become poor. I saw this city full of people serving Jesus and each other, giving whatever was needed to make provision. Poverty does not exist because each person gives what is needed. Everything is closed on Sundays because no one should work. Salvation has changed this town. I believe it is coming. I truly do. The Holy Spirit is preparing a mighty plan that I am a part of, and my heart is awakening. I am beginning to believe in love again, and that I am meant to be caught up in a great romance. It begins with Jesus, and will include a multitude of souls embraced by the most powerful love ever imagined. My dreams of a husband and children will be a small part of the multitude, but I know that God has created my heart to love so many more people than my little family. I am on the edge of a crazy leap, but I have the best odds for success because I have Jesus leading the way. I dream of salvation, starting with me. Salvation so contagious that I lead a multitude into heaven when my time here is finally ended. I dream of change so big it causes a revolution. And I believe it can be done, not by my works, but by the grace of One far greater than myself.

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