Have you ever known that you needed to do something, but still do what you shouldn't, simply because it is familiar, comfortable? I am in the midst of a decision in my life and I know what I need to do, but I am still kicking. It's like when you are a kid getting immunizations...you scream because you don't know what is going to happen, the whole procedure seems scary, and you just know it is going to hurt. Of course, ultimately the immunization protects you from nasty sickness despite all of that, but you don't care. That doesn't matter. What matters is the pending doom at the end of the needle. All you see is the immediate future. Not the lollipop at the end or the fact that you won't die from whatever it is you are being protected from.
So, that is how laying down a life of sin is. Like that analogy? You don't realize how bad it can be without the immunization...you just see the process of going through it. It is hard to stop sinning. No matter what it is. Drugs, sex, negativity, anger...we become one with our sin and when God asks us to walk away, we feel pain at the thought of the unknown. We are so untrusting and uncertain that many times it takes us years to finally let go.
God has given me new lyrics to a song in process. It says "come home, come home, come home, weary traveller". It is about returning to the heart of God. I feel like God is speaking that deep in my soul, and that he wants to speak it into others' lives as well. Come home. Sounds simple, huh. It is just a decision away.