Thursday, September 11, 2008

one of the guys?


One of my close guy friends made a statement to me today that made me think... "you are one of the guys"... Unintentionally this friend's statement, in a way, was an insult. As a woman, it is hard to reconcile the thought of being "one of the guys". It was meant as a compliment, to say that I fit in well with the guys and that they feel comfortable around me. And I love that. But the idea that ALL guys see me as such is not a thought I want to entertain, yet such a statement makes it difficult not to. I grew up with the guys...my dad and brother. My mom stopped playing an active role in my life around age 9, a critical time for a young girl. And so I became comfortable with being around guys and relating to them. To this day, that has not changed. However, as I heard this statement and tried to disregard its many meanings, it lingered. I am a woman. One who wants one of the guys to eventually recognize me as such. To find me beautiful and captivating. That is every woman's desire. And therefore, really, it is not ideal to be thought of as one of the guys, because those two are not congruent. It does not matter that this particular friend is just a friend...it is the idea that no guy will be able to see me as anything but "one of the guys" that strikes at my heart so deep. So, while I recognize the blessing that comes in the heart of that statement, I also recognize the arguments, and advocate that perhaps rather than using that phrase, I could simply be told that I am a wonderful friend. :)

3 comments:

Estevan said...

If you were "just one of the guys" who would us guys go to when we need womanly advice? And who would let us know when we step out of line?

Cheatwoods said...

i kow how you feel, I grew up being one of the guys, in highschool there were three girls and we had about 8 guy friends in our circle. But now I have 3 boys and am a good mom to boys, God knows what you need and knows your strengths, your goign to be a good wife. I saw how guys hated jealousy, naggying, pushyness all those things, and made a decision never to be that way and have a happy marriage, Your husband is going to be happy you understand guys.
It dose suck to be called one of the guys when you long to be a pretty princes that is persued and loved by someone!
It well happen and it well be loverly!

Anne-Therese said...

I like your thoughts and conclusions! My story: I used to really love that statement actually when I was in high school...then I decided I needed to grow up and desperately wanted girl friends. It was definitely a healing process for me to see myself relating to girls as well. Now, I have an amazing husband who encourages me to be a woman! The Lord knows you, lovely Christina, and know the man that will win your heart, not too long from now! :)