giving away

I did not want to get up early this morning...not one bit. But I promised one of my cell members that I would take her to prayer. It is a good thing that it was not my idea, but God's...because He began to speak to my heart this morning. If I would have stayed in bed and not obeyed the call to get up and seek Him first, I would have missed it. First, the Lord told me that today was a day of joy overflowing. I certainly was not feeling this way at the moment, but I nevertheless agreed and wrote it down in faith. Then I read in Psalm 28. God began to speak to me that because He is my strength, and He protects me, I can rejoice. I can live in joy. I read these words before, but it is as though God is giving me the revelation that if I BELIEVE His words, I will actually see them come to be in my life. Already I was beginning to feel joy rise up, because I didn't have to carry the weight of my day any more. Then I read John 11. There is a part where Martha tells Jesus that she believes...but then later doubts Him with her words and actions. Jesus said to her (paraphrase) "Did I not tell you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?" I felt like God was speaking to me in that moment. As though all the words I'd said before did not matter much unless I put faith behind it. Unless I walked them out. Unless I stopped looking at the circumstances and allow belief to take me out of them. BELIEVE.
Then Tommy got up to share a short word (I love it when Tommy talks...). He said to us that it is better to be different and suffer for it, than to be the same as the world. He read from Luke 6. He encouraged us that if we are struggling (with trying to do God's will) then that means we are walking in faith, and that we should rejoice! We are asked to give away ourselves without expectation of something in return. This is something that I have often struggled with. I ask God that if I go and talk to someone that they would respond and get saved. I ask God that if I love someone that they would love me in return. My motivation should not be out of what I expect to get back, but simply out of a heart to serve. He is asking me to lay down a few things in my life and I was struggling to do it. But I realize that God is leading me through it, and I need to do it, despite any return I may or may not receive. So, I am standing out, and giving my life away. Amen.