This weekend has been really rough on me emotionally. I have been crying at the drop of a hat and overall feeling ruled by emotions, and not-so-happy ones at that. Being a feeler by nature, this means that I have to work EXTRA hard to overcome in my thoughts and not just succumb to whatever I am feeling. It is not easy for me to do this. At all. I just felt like the verse where a man says "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!". I found myself praying this a lot, and asking for more faith.
This morning, I went to church and made it through the first song without crying...but at the beginning of the second one, I couldn't sing the words without choking up. I began to get frustrated because truth be told, worship is not about me OR my emotions, but here I was...SO focused on them that I could not engage with God without feeling sorry for myself. Then the third song began...and the words "Let God arise, let God arise, our God reigns now and forever, He reigns now and forever!" rang out and spoke deep. God reigns. He reigns in me. This means that He reigns in my emotions and my thoughts and my circumstances IF I let Him arise. If I try to shut the door on Him and give free reign to how I feel, then I will be ruled by what I give myself over to. But if I let God arise and take His rightful position, then all of those emotions will be put into check.
In an instant, I felt like the confusion of emotion was lifted off and I could think straight again. All I needed to do was let God arise. Let Him lead me. Such a beautiful thing.
To add to this, I have been hearing lots of stories about people sticking pennies on walls and asking God to hold them there. Sounds like a crazy thing, right? Well, if you have ever read the Old Testament, God has done much crazier things than that to show His abilities. Haha. But anyway, I told my brother about it and he decided to try it. Here is his penny on his door. Last time he checked, it was still up (which meant it had been up for at least 5 days...)