day 6...

So day 6 brings you two looks.

One for work and
one for the Switchfoot concert!
Today, I am hopefully buying a car.
Not gonna lie, I am leaning heavy toward the...
Honda Civic Hybrid!

Yellow sweater- Old Navy
Blue v-neck- Gap
Necklace- little store at a concert venue
Green jacket- Target
Fake Vans- Payless :)

One more day!

day 5...

I should be in bed.
I'm not.
Instead, I am posting my day 5 of fall fashion...
Car news...
I am "borrowing" 2 different cars over the next two days.
One is a Honda Civic Hybrid.The other is a Honda Accord.
I like both.
We'll see if one comes out a winner. :)

day 4 :)

I'll let you in on a little secret...
I only wore this outfit for about two hours tonight.
I wore pinstripe pants and heels with the top and cardigan below,
sans scarf.
I had professional meetings to attend.
I liked this better for our little fall fashion shindig.
Hope you do too. :)

day 3...

I love doing Fall Fashion week.
I wake up each morning to a bunch of compliments
that continue on through the day.
I love looking at everyone's ideas,
and storing them away for future use.
I feel bad that so far this week, since Monday,
my time has been eaten up by dealing with having
to figure out buying a new car.
You see, my beloved Maxima is dying.
Good ol' faithful car.

So I promise that when the craziness slows,
I will go back and comment on everyone's posts for the week!
I'll pick my favorite and leave a note.
Hopefully, the delay in comment will be a fun blessing as
we leave Fall Fashion Week behind.
But for those of you that have time now,
go compliment away HERE!

day 2 fall fash :)

Sweater from H&M
Jeans from Ross
Shoes from Ross
Necklace from F21

I was inspired by the shoes when I glanced in my closet to see which ones would go with my orange-y sweater. Teal and orange are an awesome combo, I have decided. :)

See all the rest of the great fashionistas here!

fall fashion 2010- day 1

I am posting this early, since I took pictures of this outfit in anticipation of this week. It was one of my first "fall" feeling outfits of this season. Chip wanted in on the action. :)

Happy fall! :)

point of view

Last night I was faced with an unpleasant circumstance. I had some control over the situation, but I didn't like it, not at all. I was faced with having to do a ten hour day at Hearst Castle vs. doing what I wanted and needed to be doing...finishing the large amount of paperwork I had. I could have made someone on my team fill in, but in looking at all of the circumstances, it was better overall if I did it myself. But I didn't want to. And in the midst of this, I was tired, and not feeling great, so I quickly let myself get worked up about it...but made the decision to do what I didn't want to do despite not wanting to. And I went to bed that night asking God to help me have a better attitude about the whole thing, even though at the moment, I certainly didn't feel like it. I still was struggling with wanting my way.

I woke up in the morning, early in the morning, and earnestly began to pray for God's help. That I would connect with Him, that I'd have the strength to make it through the day...and with that, I rushed out the door. Not off to the best start, I got lost trying to find the first person I needed to pick up for the day. But once I figured out where I was going, I passed a street that was called "tranquillo". It made me laugh, and I took it to mean that I needed to breathe...

I managed to pick everyone up, and although we would be late, I let my mind let go of that worry as I drove through the hills of Paso Robles to Hearst Castle. There is a point in that drive where on a clear day you can see the ocean. Today was not one of those days. While it was sunny and beautiful on that drive, I could see a heavy fog enveloping the hills and the area where I was meant to be that day...in Morro Bay. I knew that God wanted to show me something with that picture, but it didn't quite unpack itself in that moment. Instead, I tucked it away and continued with my day.

Only later, after what turned out to be an 11 hour work day, did God finish showing me what He started to in the early part of the day. If I had gotten my way or forced my staff into taking the shift, I would have been in Morro Bay. I wouldn't have been able to see anything but gray fog everywhere. The sun was up and shining, but not anywhere that I could have seen it. Circumstances (i.e. the fog) were blocking my view. However, I chose the less favored way (at the time) and found myself in the sun, looking down on the gloomy looking circumstances. A lot of the time I choose to stay in the fog. Whether I reason that it's because it's what I have to do, or it's because it's what I know or even what I do everyday, I want to be there. It's MY way, and I want to be there. It doesn't matter if choosing to be above those circumstances would be better overall, it isn't MY idea, so to heck with it. Literally if I had chosen MY way today, I would have been in the fog.

(not actual picture...just one taken and edited for effect)

The only way to see the sun was to be moved into a different situation. In fact, my point of view was one where I was literally above the fog, looking down on it. From there, I could enjoy the sun and clearly see that where I would have been was missing out. God showed me that the sun represented His good plans. His promises. They are always there. However, sometimes, something blocks our view of that. And we have a choice. To stay where we are, going our own way OR let God lead us out and bring us to a place of a new perspective. It's our choice. Things look very different from one place to another BUT the reality of things does not change. The sun still shines even on foggy days....we just may not be in a place where we are able to see it. I am praying that God would help me see things His way...to change my perspective. I have seen way too many foggy days in my life. How about you?

rearview mirror

This photo shoot brought to you once again by Photo Freak.
Challenge was to capture yourself in the rearview mirror of your car. :)

boys and girls

Boys and girls like each other. From a young age till we are old and gray. Boys and girls like each other. This weekend my church is having a seminar on this subject, and at first, it seemed like it was for those already dating or newly married. Then someone (I think our Pastor) got up and said, "no, it's really for anyone, dating, married, anyone who wants to get married". You'd think that given that I am in the latter category my first reaction would be "where do I sign up?". Haha, no.

Instead, I began to slightly panic. This very issue...the war between my deep desire to be a girl who likes a boy who likes me in return and the, well, lack of said boy...has caused me to wrestle with faith to still see that it will happen. In fact, I imagined myself showing up at this seminar wearing a scarlet letter with an 'S' for single...not only that, but that I'd be the only almost-30 person in the room, looking at her prospects...all under the ripe age of 25. I realize, of course, this is not what is going to happen. NOT AT ALL. In fact, it is an amazing opportunity to hear from people who have successful marriages. And I have lots of other friends, though slightly younger, who are going to be there eager to get Godly guidance in this area of their lives.

God confronted me on my lack of faith on Wednesday morning. I was reading His word, and got to the following words: "my God in whom I TRUST"...I saw that though there were areas I completely trusted God in, this area was one I did not. In fact, I was frustrated that at the age of 29 I was not only single, but had not seen the possibility of a prospect in over 10 years...nor do I see one coming my way. I was losing my vision and dream for marriage because I have been letting circumstance steal away from that hope.

Really I was upset that MY plan did not, has not panned out. Never mind that God has perfect timing...what have I been thinking? Why is it that I have this incessant need to control and plan everything? God asked me again to trust Him...FULLY. And I have begun to do that again. What I am asking Him to help me do again is dream. To be able to hope for the future in a way I have never done.

I am really excited to find out who the man God chose for me is. Really. But in the meantime, I am realizing how much fun I am having. I am confident in who I am and what I love in life. And that is important because I'll know when that man stands in front of me and likes me, it'll be real. So, tomorrow, I'll be at that seminar, soaking in all I can get to be that Proverbs 31 wife one day. And I can't wait.

broken voice.

This is not me speaking now, but the broken voice of people all around us, just wanting to be heard. I feel like many people would say this if we would scratch the surface of their lives and go deeper. Why? It was me once.



How am I, you ask? Well, should I give you the standard answer because really all you are trying to do is make conversation? A nice "I'm good" or "I'm fine" should suffice...if I were to tell you the truth, I am not sure you could handle it. Or really that you'd want to. You see, on the outside, I can smile and some days I truly do believe that it's a good day. But those days don't usually last long, or come my way too often. Instead, I spend my time distracting myself. Most days I drag myself out of bed, and put on my best clothes so no one knows that I barely made it to wherever I am headed. Going through the motions, looking for something to pass the time. Before I know it, the day ends and I am dreading the new one. But you don't know that. You don't see beyond the smile.

I am supposed to be able to do this on my own...make it without leaning on anyone or anything. I know I can't keep going at this rate, and yet I still try. You don't want to be bothered with that. I can tell by the fact that as you asked me that question, you quickly turned to your cell phone going off...you don't have the time. It's okay...I'll be fine, really.

I wish I could say I didn't feel so alone, that I didn't feel so overwhelmed by this feeling...even with you standing in front of me. That I wish you'd look in my eyes and see my pain. That you'd see that I want to do something greater than my life reflects now...but I just don't know how to get there. Instead, I continue to find disappointment at how my efforts just seem to get me by. I just want someone to see.

Would you take the time to ask me again, for real, how I am? And would you take the time to listen? More than anything, I am looking for someone who understands. Someone who will love me despite...well, myself. If you don't, I may just continue to be a broken voice lost in the crowd of life. Crying out, only for it to fall on deaf ears. Would you be willing to show me what real love looks like...

sound like someone you know?

This morning as I was getting ready to sing with the worship team, I felt lead to read Psalm 78. A lot of people consider the Old Testament a great book for history, and to see God's heart for His people...often not seeing the value it has for our lives today. If you don't know your history, it's bound to repeat itself right? As I was reading this passage, I knew God was speaking to an attitude in my heart:

"And in their heart they put God to the test
By asking food according to their desire.
Then they spoke against God;
They said, "Can God prepare a table in the wilderness?
"Behold, He struck the rock so that waters gushed out,
And streams were overflowing;
Can He give bread also?
Will He provide meat for His people?"
Therefore the LORD heard and was full of wrath;
And a fire was kindled against Jacob
And anger also mounted against Israel,
Because they did not believe in God
And did not trust in His salvation.
Yet He commanded the clouds above
And opened the doors of heaven;
He rained down manna upon them to eat
And gave them food from heaven." Psalm 78:18-24

You ask how this is relevant today? We don't do this...or do we? Here is what we say instead:

"Can God bring my husband in these circumstances? Behold, He gathered enough money to pay for my car repairs, with enough left over to bless me; Can He really find an amazing man for me? Will He provide the deepest desire of my heart?"

Insert whatever God has done for you, and whatever you question or doubt in the quotes above. I think we do this far too often. It makes God angry because He knows that He has ALL we need, ask for or imagine and beyond, and yet we do not trust Him. If you keep reading, it says that despite our unfaithfulness, He still provides. Over and over the people of Israel, much like ourselves, gave in to fear and doubt, and despite God's frustration, He knew we were weak in our flesh, and faithfully forgives us...pursuing us until we return to the right heart. God is calling me to return to faith in Him. To ask for forgiveness for my unfaithful heart. To trust that despite the circumstances, God will provide.

never tried this before.

Okay, I came home tonight from band practice with a song on my heart. It is in a pretty rough stage... A. because, well, I just wrote it 30 minutes ago... B. I don't play guitar nearly as much as I should OR used to... C. it's recorded on a point and shoot camera...and D. well, I guess telling people that it is a rough stage means that people are nicer with their critiques?

The reason I write songs is really for an outlet. I love singing, and music, and it seems natural that given that, I would express myself in song. I have written a lot of songs...and may one day put on here a song I have shared in verse only. But for tonight, here is the rough song I am working on:



Lyrics:
We give our lives to too many things
Searching for answers to our needs
We lay them down
I lay them down

For the beauty of the mystery of you
The purpose of a lifetime
More than I can do
You're the hope for my future
Beyond all I can dream
Jesus
I need you

We settle for what's left over
Not knowing that the best's within reach
We let it go
Oh I let it go

For the beauty of the mystery of you
The purpose of a lifetime
More than I can do
You're the hope for my future
Beyond all I can dream
Jesus
I need you (x3)

eye. heart. ewe.

This picture is brought to you by a challenge by Photo Freak.

I bought this heart ornament two Christmases ago, and it has made a permanent home on my wall in my room. I took this photo about 6 months ago.