Last night I was faced with an unpleasant circumstance. I had some control over the situation, but I didn't like it, not at all. I was faced with having to do a ten hour day at Hearst Castle vs. doing what I wanted and needed to be doing...finishing the large amount of paperwork I had. I could have made someone on my team fill in, but in looking at all of the circumstances, it was better overall if I did it myself. But I didn't want to. And in the midst of this, I was tired, and not feeling great, so I quickly let myself get worked up about it...but made the decision to do what I didn't want to do despite not wanting to. And I went to bed that night asking God to help me have a better attitude about the whole thing, even though at the moment, I certainly didn't feel like it. I still was struggling with wanting my way.
I woke up in the morning, early in the morning, and earnestly began to pray for God's help. That I would connect with Him, that I'd have the strength to make it through the day...and with that, I rushed out the door. Not off to the best start, I got lost trying to find the first person I needed to pick up for the day. But once I figured out where I was going, I passed a street that was called "tranquillo". It made me laugh, and I took it to mean that I needed to breathe...
I managed to pick everyone up, and although we would be late, I let my mind let go of that worry as I drove through the hills of Paso Robles to Hearst Castle. There is a point in that drive where on a clear day you can see the ocean. Today was not one of those days. While it was sunny and beautiful on that drive, I could see a heavy fog enveloping the hills and the area where I was meant to be that day...in Morro Bay. I knew that God wanted to show me something with that picture, but it didn't quite unpack itself in that moment. Instead, I tucked it away and continued with my day.
Only later, after what turned out to be an 11 hour work day, did God finish showing me what He started to in the early part of the day. If I had gotten my way or forced my staff into taking the shift, I would have been in Morro Bay. I wouldn't have been able to see anything but gray fog everywhere. The sun was up and shining, but not anywhere that I could have seen it. Circumstances (i.e. the fog) were blocking my view. However, I chose the less favored way (at the time) and found myself in the sun, looking down on the gloomy looking circumstances. A lot of the time I choose to stay in the fog. Whether I reason that it's because it's what I have to do, or it's because it's what I know or even what I do everyday, I want to be there. It's MY way, and I want to be there. It doesn't matter if choosing to be above those circumstances would be better overall, it isn't MY idea, so to heck with it. Literally if I had chosen MY way today, I would have been in the fog.