even when the rain falls...

It has been pouring rain the last few days, and there is an area out my front door that accumulates water as it pours. The drain gets overwhelmed and soon a lake of water forms. Today that lake formed quickly as the sky poured itself out. And then, for a little while, the sun poked through the clouds and the clouds gave the ground a little break. Just enough to allow the water to drain and the lake to disappear.

The rain has started up again, and the lake is not yet forming, but it is only a matter of time. The ground has soaked up what it can, and if the rain keeps coming, it will get overwhelmed again.

I have felt that way today...like I've soaked up all that I can and as a result, I began to feel overwhelmed. How many times will I allow myself to carry too much and try and do too much on my own before I let God step in? Like the ground, I can only handle so much...then I am over-saturated. There is nothing I can do to stop the rain, in my life or the rain outside...but I can allow God to soak it up for me. His capacity is well beyond mine.

reading on a lunch break

...a late lunch break! I just read this, and found it not only encouraging in the end about being single, but overall. I have always loved Hebrews 11:6, and like the author, have struggled at times to walk out the second half of the verse. I love her conclusion about the answer to prayer not being the end of prayer but rather the beginning of more. :) Thought I'd share.

http://www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a0002211.cfm

out of my head into the world wide web...

It is the end of what has felt like a long work week...probably because it is my first full week in two weeks. By Wednesday, I was shocked there were two more work days left...haha, but I made it to Friday! My mind is starting to get out of vacation mode and back into routine. However, since my brain has been a little...off, I am going to share some random tidbits floating inside :)

-I have never seen a more confused winter season! The hills are green, the trees are dead, and the weather is gorgeous...for spring time! What happened? I have sweaters and boots wanting to be worn, scarves wanting to be tied, and they are sadly stuck until a colder day comes out to play. And the other half of the U.S. is getting bombarded by ice and snow...so weird.

-Where do you imagine the worst place to have a spelling error occur would be? I wish I would have taken a picture of it, but when I visited my family last week, I was driving by the Jr. High which proudly displayed "HAPPY HOLDIAYS!" on the side I was passing. (***Note: the reverse side had the correct spelling.) Haha, I think that the schools we are sending our kids to should have some kind of double checking system for that! Needless to say, I laughed pretty hard at that.

-I am afraid of the roundabout in Morro Bay. I encounter the most bizarre driving skills in that thing, and don't trust the people to use it correctly. Today I had a close encounter with the Cadillac kind who did not seem to understand the meaning of the word "yield". And yet, I have to drive this thing several times a week. Sigh. And the opening of Bob's Big Boy right by has, I think, only increased the issues.

-I am so giddy about planning my vacation in April. My friend Stephanie and I are flying to North and South Carolina for a week. Why? Several reasons, and I promise that none is greater than the other. 1. I made it a goal to travel somewhere I have never been before this year. I have never been there. 2. I have always wanted to see the east coast/south. Blame it on the civil war project I did my 8th grade year. 3. We are going to see NeedToBreathe play a few home shows. And I get to meet some of the friends I have made through their street team site. Am I a little crazy? Yes. But honestly, I am looking forward to an adventure full of laughter, good music and friends...something I rarely let myself really experience. Trust me, you will hear lots about this trip, both before and after! Wheee!

-After I planned the above trip and planned a mini trip to drive down to see NeedToBreathe in Pomona, they announced that they are coming to San Luis Obispo!!! Haha, so this means that I am going to FIVE shows in three weeks. I am even laughing at myself.

-To kick start myself into losing weight again, I am doing a 6 day eating plan combined with exercise, which is basically high protein...it is day one and I am hungry 15 minutes after I am done eating...haha. This will be fun. At least it is only 6 days, and I know I will be excited to keep going and eating healthy once I get through this. :)

-And I will leave you with this...on New Year's Eve I declared "2010- Bring on the men!" And all the single ladies said, "Amen!!!"

Happy Friday.

old excuses, permanent markers

I have been doing a lot of reflecting and looking forward, as many people do during this time of year, and in my prayer time this morning, I wondered why I have not achieved some of the goals I have made in the past. And the answer came succinctly, and quickly, "Because it has always been that way."

I learned a few years ago in my line of work, that if your answer to a question of why you do something is "because it has always been that way," then something needs to change. I was told that it is not a sufficient reason to keep doing something. The answers must be justified, not excused away. Why shouldn't it be the same for other areas of my life?

This is very timely because I am making goals for 2010, and want to see success.Areas like losing weight, paying off debt, and being single- the answer as to "why haven't things changed much?" has been the very answer listed above. And so God asked me to picture that phrase, and then me taking a permanent marker and putting large Xs through the words. I get to begin writing new goals with the intention for change.

Have you been a person who has a similar excuse, afraid of change because it is simply not imaginable? Then pick up the permanent marker and let yourself cross it out of your life. Until you do, you will continue in the same pattern, because it has always been that way.

2010- sinking my teeth in

Every year, God speaks to me about what He wants to do in my life in the upcoming year. This last year, He wanted to renew life and promises in me that He had already spoken, but that I had let go of. And in the year, I went through many circumstances that made me fight to renew my belief. It became a year of me learning to believe again.

It is not surprising that God is continuing down this path for me in 2010. This next year, I am being called to sink my teeth into His promises. Earlier this year, I saw this picture in a store window, and made it my cell phone background, because I knew it was something I needed to be reminded of daily...

I love how this little girl is just biting into the fruit...it is the image that God brought to mind as He showed me the next step I'd be taking. It is one thing to believe in His promises. It is another thing to sink your teeth into them. "O taste and see that the LORD is good; How blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him!" Psalm 34:8 I am excited to begin to take hold of what God has been speaking over my life. I know it will be a daily decision, and a daily struggle as God transforms the poverty mindset I have long lived in. But I know I will taste and see that the Lord is good to me. He gave me the verse I quoted in my Christmas post as another encouragement...that I would be blessed if I believe that God will fulfill what He has spoken! Let's go 2010! I am ready. Happy new year, and may you be blessed as you kick off 2010!

never been asked

Flashback to high school. I went to four high school dances, including prom, but I was never asked. Imagine a 17 year old girl wanting to go to prom, and time passes by...no one asking. I ended up asking a sophomore to go with me, just so I could go. For years before this, and even a few years after, I believed that if I wanted to date a guy, I needed to do the pursuing. Otherwise, it would not happen. God began to show me that I needed to change my perspective and learn to be pursued. And it has been a journey...sometimes it feels like it has been a loooooong journey. But I have been waiting.

Why the flashback? Why bring it up now? In two weeks, I get to re-live "prom" thanks to two of my friends who are dating. The guy is re-creating prom for his girlfriend since she has never gone. Because I am a close friend to both, they want me there. Here lies the dilemma. It requires a date. Insert flashback here. Maybe you can even insert some of that horror "ree ree ree ree" music too. Haha. I have been single for ten years. And still have never been asked. I don't have high expectations that I will be asked to this prom by the man of my dreams and be swept away...that would be nice, but honestly, not expected. BUT I would like to be asked. Even if it is just by a friend. The last time I faced this experience was about 5 years ago. I did not get asked. I wanted to go, and so did several of my girl friends. We ended up going as a group, and two of the girls dressed up like guys, but girl-ified. The only saving grace for me that night was that a dear friend, who had asked someone else to go, asked me to dance...not once, but twice. This same friend has built a determination in me not to settle for anyone less than a gentleman.

Truthfully, I don't really even want to go. Why? Because I don't want any guy to feel like he has to take me, and I don't want to go unless I am asked. That's a lot of pressure on a situation...and to me, it just does not feel like it is worth it. I am not sure how it will all pan out, because I want to go and be there with my friends. I just don't want it to end up feeling like high school all over again. One day, I won't have to worry about this. One day, I will have a husband to be my date, and he will have asked me. Until then, I wait...and hope that this all works out.

Merry Christmas!

I just wanted to wish you all a very Merry Christmas! Enjoy your family and friends, and remember that Christ is the reason we celebrate! He has changed my life, and at Christmas, we remember that. He came to set us free and give us grace...which I continue to need in an abundance.

I am so thankful for what God has done this year, and look forward to all that next year will bring! Lots of adventure and fulfillment of dreams...

"And blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of what had been spoken to her by the Lord." -Luke 1:45