i wish...

I wish that brownies were calorie free, and were instead very, very good for you...

I wish that the word "mojo" didn't have such a sexual connotation to it, because it's the best word to describe what I felt like I got back yesterday. (I feel fairly confident that I looked good yesterday, confirmed by a guy friend who stared at me for a moment before he found words to say...which were that I looked "sporty" and "looked good".  By the way, I think the word sporty was not the word he was going for.)

I wish nap times were part of every work day.

I wish that I appreciated waking up early more. I love the idea of getting up early with a cup of coffee and just hanging out with Jesus.  When faced with the reality of the morning, that idea somehow seems sadly much less appealing.

I wish that I was better at living like I am saved than I am.  People know I am a Christian, but it doesn't seem to make as much of an impact as I'd like to see.

I wish I had the resources to make sure everyone was fed and clothed and sheltered.  I do what I can, but some days it doesn't seem to be enough.

I wish that my laundry would put itself away. :)

Just some random wishes for a Monday afternoon.  Hope your week is off to a great start!

hello 2012

So. It's been a while *cough almost a month cough* since I've posted here.  The good news is that I have been busy running around and enjoying myself.  Since day 1 of 2012, things have been exciting and I have hopes that this year could be really great.

A snapshot of the Rose Parade!

-I went to the Rose Parade for the first time ever.  Not only did I go, but I full on camped out on the streets of Pasadena with a few of my close friends and got front row seats.  It was an experience of a lifetime and I had such a great time doing it!

-Remember when I did that list of things called "ten days. ten secrets."?  Well, the possibility of being able to collaborate in a band came up...and although it hasn't come to fruition yet, I am super honored and floored by the consideration.  I think of Taylor Swift's video where she keeps saying "it's my dream".

-I've begun to see God unfold what He spoke to me about 2012 and it being a year of depth.  I love that my relationship with Him is getting deeper and deeper, and He is showing me how to have better relationships with my friends and family.  I've been having a lot of fun spending time with people I care about and expanding new friendships.

-I've recently come to the conclusion that I could easily be a vegetarian.  I won't but I could.  It's amazing though how healthy food can still be pretty tasty!

I hope 2012 has started off well for you! I promise I won't stay away so long next time ;)

award!!!

I got my first blog award the other day from the lovely Emily at Amazing Grapes...it's called the Liebster Award.  It goes to anyone who has under 200 followers who deserves a little more recognition.  And she picked me! 

The rules of said award are as follows:
1. Show your thanks by linking to the award giver.
2. Leave links to 5 of your top blogs and leave a sweet comment letting them know.
3. Post the award on your blog.
4. Enjoy and bask in the love.

Sadly, I follow only a few smaller blogs.  It doesn't mean that my choices are any less significant and as I introduce them, I hope you see why.

Katie at Concrete and Grace: Katie is a dear friend of mine whose wit far surpasses mine.  She doesn't blog often but I always enjoy her postings.  She has a way with words and a clever view on life.  And I love her bunches and bunches!

Christianna at The Girl with the Blue Bow: I met this girl in a hip hop class and instantly liked her! She's clever and artsy and talented...and her blog is a reflection of all of that! Her blog is well on its way to being over 200 followers, but I am proud to be one of her first. :)

Anne Therese at Then Writes my Soul: Anne Therese was my first friend here in SLO, and is an incredible woman of worship.  She also doesn't post often, but each of her posts speak deeply to me.  She's wise and gifted, and I love reading her blog!

Ashley at Episodes of a Mixed Girl: I am not sure how we connected, but this girl is fun! Maybe it's because she's from the Carolinas (an area near and dear to my heart...and stomach, hee hee) but I like what she has to say!

Hannah at One and Only: This girl is a fellow NEEDTOBREATHE fan, and that is how I "met" her.  She's got great stories to tell and I love her photography! Check her out!

There you go, folks! An award brought me out of my blog drought.  And I am happy to share the love.  I'll be back shortly with an update on the big L-I-F-E!

put me in coach

It was twelve years ago that I was on the cusp of starting my last relationship.  It ended just a few months later.  Little did I know at the time that God was going to put me on the dating sidelines...for twelve years. 

For most of those years, especially the earlier ones, I am so grateful He did.  The “relationships” I had been in were not ones worthy of really remembering...let alone desiring repeats of.  They weren’t terrible...but the truth is, if I had it to do all over again, I would’ve just waited.

About halfway through this waiting period, God showed me a little bit of why He was having me wait.  I had just had my heart broken in a friendship where I was misled, and after bringing some healing, God asked me to write a list of traits I wanted in a husband.  What amazed me was that there were things on my list that the guy I was getting over didn’t have.  We’re not talking unreachable, high expectations...a list of things that no guy could ever achieve.  Real things.  Things that were important to me.

In the last few years, I’ve gotten to know who I am.  I am pretty confident in who God has made me to be, even though there are still lots of pieces to the puzzle for me to figure out and put together.  God knew it would take twelve years...and possibly more.

I’ve had more than a fair share of arguments with God about His timing...particularly in this area.  I had a plan...and that plan was that I would meet Mr. Right in college, graduate, and get married.  I would start having kids at age 25.  I think one of the hardest parts of letting go of that plan was the realization that when I lost my mom to cancer at age 25, I knew she would not know my husband or kids.  That was a tough one to swallow.  I like plans.  And I especially like when they work out.  There is a certain security in that.  Instead, those plans are in the wind and I have no idea where the master plan is leading me.

Part of me is afraid.  Afraid that I won’t know what to do when pursuit begins.  Afraid that it might not happen.  Afraid that I don’t know how to have a real relationship.  I’ve gotten really good at being a friend.  I don’t remember what it’s like to be anything more.

God’s got me on the sidelines.  But I also know He’s the kind of coach that knows when it is time to put me in the game.  I have to trust in His training so that when the moment comes, I’ll be ready.  I’ll be able to say, “Put me in coach.”

(I think all this came up because I read Ruth today.  It was the next part of my reading plan.  Go figure.)

merry CHRISTmas!

I just want to wish you all a wonderful Christmas...may you enjoy time with friends and family, be blessed by the gifts, food and fun, and most of all, know how much God loves you.  He sent His Son to save us! What a beautiful thing to celebrate!

Leaving you with a few favorite Christmas videos:

quiet faith

Tonight I watched The Nativity Story with some friends, and we were asked what struck us most about the movie.  Of course, it being the story of Christ's birth, it shares a powerful moment wrapped in humble beginnings.  What spoke to me most was Mary's faith.  Her quiet, steadfast faith.  That immediately her response to the angel revealing the wondrous news that she would give birth to the Son of God was, "I am the Lord’s servant. May your word to me be fulfilled."  To be honest, I think I'd freak out.  If not in that moment, perhaps when I faced the possibility of being stoned for being pregnant before I was married.  But Mary believed.  She trusted that God who brought her to this would walk her through it.

One of the most impacting verses is the one Elizabeth speaks about her- "And blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of what had been spoken to her by the Lord." (Luke 1:45)  We are blessed when we believe that there will be a fulfillment of what God speaks to us.  Another verse says a similar thing- "And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him." (Hebrews 11:6)  It points out two things.  That we must believe that God exists AND that He wants to bless us.  That He wants to fulfill what He has spoken to us.  So, why, oh why do I doubt?

Mary spoke to me so much because I want to be like her.  It wasn't that she was fearless.  Instead, despite her fear, she stood firm in what God told her.  She trusted Him.  That is one of the biggest things I want to move forward through in 2012.  A deeper relationship with God where my trust expands and is rooted.  Where even if my circumstances place me on shaky ground, I will stand firm.  What a powerful thing.

awkward/awesome

Because there have been some great awkward/awesome situations in my life lately, I thought I'd share...

Awesome: Being one of the first few people at our office white elephant exchange party to get to pick a gift...it meant I had the potential of having my hands on several gift choices!

Awkward: Grabbing a bag because I think it has wine in it.  Instead, it had a shake weight inside.  I am instantly feeling awkward about this and turn bright red.  Everyone laughs.

Awesome: Someone steals the shake weight! I get to pick a new gift.

Awkward:  It turns out to be this gift...

Yeah, it says "expose yourself to art". Sooooo awkward!

Awesome: Someone steals it from me (yay!) and I steal a bottle of wine that has been stolen enough times that I got to keep it.  Happy.

Awkward: On my on-call shift, I had so many call outs that I worked two extra shifts...I was so exhausted that when I showed up to my work Christmas party and people asked me how I was, I started to cry.

Awesome: Because I had to work so much, I got a four day weekend out of the deal!

Awesome: Hearing two really great messages at church for two weeks in a row and it speaking to your heart so much that you decide to update your status to reflect part of the message.

Awkward: Writing the status in such a way that no one who wasn't at the same services as you got it...and wrote concerned messages.  *Note to self, explain slightly ambiguous statuses in the future.

Awkward AND awesome: The picture my roommate and I used for this year's Christmas card.

Awkward and awesome: Having such a loud voice that your pastor points at you and wants you to sing as loud as you can because you can...because the group of people you are singing with are not quite loud enough (though we sounded amazing!) and he wants us to be heard.

Awkward: Loving a band so much that you go by yourself to see them...for the second week in a row.

Awesome: Running into people you know, and one of them giving you cake that she made for the band because it was extra.  It was DELISH.  Oh and the band. History of Painters.  Check them out. :)

Awkward and awesome: Realizing that you can do your grocery shopping, finish Christmas shopping, get birthday gifts and a baby shower gift all in one trip...at Target.  It seems wrong, but it's so right!

Awesome: Going for my first run since Thanksgiving and running a mile!

Awkward: Seeing as I am running, a cat almost getting run over by a car, THEN the cat nearly running me over...not kidding. It was running so fast that it lost control and almost flew right into my path.  I had to stop and laugh for two seconds.

Share with me some of your favorite awkward and awesome moments of the season...it's good to laugh!