2012- a year of surprises

Every year, I start out casting vision and hoping certain things will happen.  I write them down.  I ask God what His plan is for the year, and I watch and see what unfolds.  It's funny, my ideas tend to turn out wrong...but when I look at what God presses on my heart each year, He never fails to bring that word to be true.  2012 was woven through this verse-
 "Sing, barren woman,
    you who never bore a child;
burst into song, shout for joy,
    you who were never in labor;
because more are the children of the desolate woman
    than of her who has a husband,”
says the Lord. 
 “Enlarge the place of your tent,
    stretch your tent curtains wide,
    do not hold back;
lengthen your cords,
    strengthen your stakes.
For you will spread out to the right and to the left;
    your descendants will dispossess nations
    and settle in their desolate cities.

 “Do not be afraid; you will not be put to shame.
    Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated.
You will forget the shame of your youth
    and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.

For your Maker is your husband—
    the Lord Almighty is his name—
the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer;
    he is called the God of all the earth."

Being a singer, I honed in on that word "sing", and hoped God would bring more opportunities for me to sing.  In a way, He did...but not the way I thought.  I did lead a full song in worship for the first time, and our choir sings every week now.   But that was not the focus.  Instead I should've paid more attention to "stretch".

Little did I know the plans God had for me this year.  Today I was praying and thanking Him for what He brought into my life this year, things I didn't even think to ask for, and I began to tear up.  I wasn't expecting to find myself promoted at the end of 2012.  And I certainly hadn't thought I'd be leading a women's cell group again.  It just goes to show that God opens doors that we think either aren't there OR that are closed.  Both of these things are stretching me.  My life is full to the brim in many ways, but I have found that my tents have stretched...so that I am able to handle it.  At least with God's help.

I've asked God what He has in store for 2013.  So far, I've gotten this phrase "going to the promised land".  I am hopeful for what that means.  I have my own hopes...hopes of meeting my husband, hopes of really getting my finances in order (I am making good strides!), hopes of finally learning what it means to make my health a priority and meet some of those goals tied to it.  Hopes of salvation.  Hopes of singing more and learning to use my voice in a greater way to bless God.  No matter what I hope for, I know when I get to the end of 2013, I will see His word fulfilled.  He hasn't failed me yet.

I don't know how well I will keep up this blog in 2013...I hope to do it more justice in the coming year.  I think I felt like so much was going on inside that I couldn't accurately express it on the outside.  I sometimes felt like I had nothing to say.  As this will likely be the last post of 2012, I hope you all have a wonderful new year celebration...one full of hope and promise.  Thanks for reading, some of you have been quite faithful.  Happy new year!

A little adventure...

In a few days, I will be ending my approximately four month long adventure in the world of online dating.  I have been in a very open season where I was willing to explore some unknown territory in order to hopefully cross paths with my future husband.  After a few people had mentioned it to me, despite vehemently opposing the idea in the past, I was curious.  So I ventured.

It had its upsides and its downsides, and certainly helped me to see things differently.  I tried a few sites, including Eharmony, OkCupid and Christian Cafe.  Here are some of the snapshots of my experiences with each one:

Eharmony: This was my least favorite site.  What I liked about it was its overall presentation.  It was clean and visually appealing.  It did send me some pretty good matches, in my opinion.  But I had no freedom to explore and their intro questions and process felt cheesy.  I almost had a coffee date from a match here...but he dropped off the face of the planet when my month subscription expired.  My favorite thing that happened on this site was getting matched with someone I knew!  He’s an attractive musician I met a few years ago and we are casually acquainted at this point.  I messaged him on Facebook, and we had a good laugh about it.  Nothing of significance has occurred as a result, but I’m keeping that option open....

OkCupid:  I joined this one because it was free.  What I liked about it was that I could explore and search for people on my own terms.  And it was free.  But it tried to match me for the first month or so with guys whose match percentage was ridiculously low...simply because they lived close to me.  And I had several guys message me with “hi” or “hi there” or “hola princesse” who also had a low match percentage.  First off, the lack of creativity was astounding. Second, I am pretty sure they didn’t bother reading my profile or they might not have bothered...however, having guys contact you simply because they find you attractive is flattering...even if it is undesired.

Christian Cafe: I joined this one because a friend recommended it...she’s still with the guy she met here.  I loved the forums, where topics of all sorts but especially dating related were discussed.  I loved being able to search on my own terms, and knowing who viewed you.  I loved that it was a Christian website, and that it regularly works to remove scammers.  That being said...no website is free from scammers.  And not all of them are caught right away.  I had an ongoing conversation (luckily very superficial) with one.  I ended up being contacted a couple of weeks later by the real guy the scammer had mimicked.  Talk about a creepy moment.  It was sad because I was starting to build a friendship when the guy disappeared (removed for being a scammer)...and I had to go through the realization that he wasn’t real and that I could’ve been taken advantage of.  It left me feeling distrustful.  Also, for some reason, men who were old enough to be my dad thought I’d be open to communicating with them....more so here than on the other sites.  After that last experience, I had not been really approached by anyone with potential.  So, I’ve decided to end my membership...at least for now.

Things I’ve learned from this experience:
- I like meeting and talking to people in real life MUCH better than online.  It’s so easy to be deceived online, and I don’t like that feeling.
- Apparently there are men out there who do find me attractive!
- I don’t really like that I had to initiate conversation online. It felt really vulnerable, especially when you wouldn’t get a response.  But even worse than that, I have strongly felt that I am not meant to be the initiator...and in the online world, you kind of need to be sometimes.
- Even though most of the time my attempts to initiate conversation were ignored, there were surprising responses.  One guy wasn’t interested, but kindly responded with “Thought I would write back and tell you how beautiful your eyes are! Don’t think we are a match, but I know you won’t have any problem finding the right person!”  Even though he wasn’t interested, I didn’t feel bad about that.  He’s going to find himself a good one...no doubt about that.  It also taught me to be kind in my responses.  I didn’t want guys to feel bad if I wasn’t interested.
- Although I am totally okay with becoming friends with total strangers online (say because we both like NEEDTOBREATHE), I am really hesitant to put myself out there for something more.
- I realize that online dating does work for people.  That may or may not include me.  And that’s okay.

So, unless Mr. Future comes a knocking via Christian Cafe in the next few days, I am walking away from that for now.  It just doesn’t feel right.  I was really encouraged by the experience though...because there were a few genuine men who were interested, although for the most part it was not mutual.  That argument that had been so loud in my mind has been cast out thanks to these men.  Men do find me attractive.  I just haven’t been pursued by the one who will win my heart yet.  Don’t think I’ve given up hope for that either.  This is not a throw-in-the-towel moment.  In fact, it’s more like the opposite.  I’ve realized that I want a face-to-face encounter, a real date...not just sending words across the Internet.  And I believe that God can do anything to make that happen.  In His timing.  So the adventure continues......

As my senior quote stated,

"Every new beginning comes from some other

beginning's end." -Semisonic

Let's hope so.

sometimes and always

Sometimes: I develop crushes on musicians I meet.
Always: I wonder if it is ridiculous to do so, but continue to "keep an open mind" because you never know... ;)

Sometimes: I try making things I find on Pinterest and hope it'll turn out perfect.
Always: It doesn't look the same...but it tastes yummy!

Sometimes: I worry that my new job's shoes are too big for me to fill...
Always: I tell myself to put my big boy pants on and get it done.

I thought this shot was fitting...hahaha

Sometimes: I wonder if it bothers my preggo friend when I constant touch her ever growing belly.
Always: I do it anyway...knowing she loves me. It's part of my "auntie" rights.

Sometimes: I think about doing something crazy like skydiving or getting a tattoo.
Always: I talk myself out of it.

Sometimes: I crave chocolate.
Always: I scour the house looking for a way to satisfy that craving. Gotta let yourself have something yummy from time to time...right?!

God answers.

It has been a quiet season here on this blog over the last six months or so.  But it doesn't mean my life has been quiet.  I sometimes felt like I am talking to God about certain topics non-stop, not always sure that He's listening or if He cares.  In the last month, I've seen God answer.  Some of these prayers have been laid over the last few years, and some only the past few months.

Take my brother, for example.  He has been living in Las Vegas for the past 8 or so years.  We have all been hoping that he could return to CA, but jobs and various other circumstances stood in the way.  When he came to visit me in May 2010, I saw him light up.  I saw possibility spring into his mind, and mine.  And I began to pray.  Sometimes I put that prayer away, and other times, my prayers concerning my brother would take up all my thoughts...like they did in May 2012, when he lost his job.  I knew God was going to do something but didn't know what.  So I prayed.  He was applying everywhere for a job, and I encouraged him to apply where I live.  Why not?  Eventually, I felt like he needed to just come and visit.  He could apply to jobs here and be available for interviews.  So, at the beginning of July, we conspired.  And he came.

He arrived on a Friday.  By Monday, he was offered a job.  A week later, he found a place to live within walking distance of where I live.  And this last weekend, he moved here and started his job.  God answered.

One of my prayers and dreams this year was to sing more.  It was a promise given to me by God, and as I started the year, I had some doors opening that I thought were going to fulfill that.  And then by May, they began to shut.  I was so frustrated, but held onto the promise.  I knew that just because a door was shutting, it didn't necessarily mean that door was the door to that dream.  There could be another way.

In late June, I found myself trying out to lead a song, a full song, for worship.  I was so incredibly nervous...feeling like this was my one chance, and it could slip through my fingers, like the other door that had shut.  I didn't sound like myself, and I knew it.  But halfway through, I stopped caring so much and decided to focus on God.  I sang to Him.  It still sounded off, but it was my way of leaving it in His hands. 

To my amazement, I was chosen.  I felt like I didn't deserve it, but I could feel God pushing me to believe.  Thankfully the nerves that made me sound so foreign didn't seize me on the day I was meant to sing.  I was still nervous...it's an incredible call to lead people into worship.  God met me that morning, and began to answer that prayer.

There are other prayers that I am fervently bringing to His attention, and I still, despite seeing these great things unfold, hesitate in my belief sometimes. But I have to proclaim boldly with thanks, God answers.  He hears. He loves.  So thankful.

in other news...

So, yeah...would 2012 slow down a little?! Almost two months have passed since my last post, but I can say I've got some good reasons why I haven't been in the blog world. Here's a short lunch break check in to give you an update!

In the last two months...
I've gone to four more concerts...Green River Ordinance, Citizen, History of Painters, Zac Brown Band
I've gone to local baseball games, trips to the beach and the lake.
I've booked two cruises in the next seven months.
I rescued a dog and got her returned to her home (with the help of my roommate!)
I got a PROMOTION...Program Director, here I come...
I led a full song at church for the first time (only had led parts in the past)
I had a major answer to prayer when my brother came to visit, found a job, and is now moving here!
I helped build a huge indoor blanket fort, because we could.
I've become addicted to the show Big Bang Theory.
I've also started line dancing every week.

Life is good, folks. And busy. It's almost the birthday, and I'm feeling ambivalent about celebrating...but more and more people are telling me that I look like I am in the 21-24 age range instead of (ahem) almost 31. That too is good. :)

keep your distance

This last weekend, I went on a short women's retreat in a lovely place outside of the hustle and bustle of life.  During the retreat, the owner of the place gave us the opportunity to check out their snakes...which included rattlesnakes and an 11 foot python.  The python was in a pretty good mood, so many of us were able to hold him...including me.  At one point, about ten of us stretched him out, and I had the duty of holding the area closest to his head.  I wasn't really freaked out until this moment.  I quickly realized that should he wish to attack me aka bite me, he could.  He didn't, thankfully, but nevertheless, the idea that he could stuck with me.

I was falling asleep that night, and was having vivid thoughts/dreams about snakes biting me.  It filled me with fear so much that I awoke and couldn't stop thinking about it.  I then remembered something that the owner of the snake said, that snakes can only strike a short distance from where they are bent.  Realizing, of course, that I was nowhere near any snakes at that moment helped me to calm down.  I realized though that my fear of being attacked was less of an actual fear of snakes, and more of a spiritual thing.

It's not a coincidence that God chose the snake to represent Satan.  His ability to attack, though fierce, is limited.  He can only attack those close to him.  The thing is, we often allow him to come close...sometimes openly, sometimes without realizing it.  We do it when we choose fear instead of faith.  We do it when we choose doubt because it feels easier than believing for greater things.  We do it when we choose to do something we know isn't right, but we want to anyway.  In those moments, we bring ourselves close to an enemy whose ability to attack increases the closer we get.  Jesus shows us how we ought to respond in those moments that the enemy draws near.

"Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry.  The tempter came to him and said, “If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.” Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’” Then the devil took him to the holy city and had him stand on the highest point of the temple. “If you are the Son of God,” he said, “throw yourself down. For it is written:

“‘He will command his angels concerning you,
    and they will lift you up in their hands,
    so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.’”

Jesus answered him, “It is also written: ‘Do not put the Lord your God to the test.’” Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor.  “All this I will give you,” he said, “if you will bow down and worship me.” Jesus said to him, “Away from me, Satan! For it is written: ‘Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.’” Then the devil left him, and angels came and attended him." Matthew 4:1-11
Regardless of whether we have let the enemy close to us or if he's found his way by other means, our response should be the same...lean on the word of God, the TRUTH.  Against that, the enemy has no power.  His attack holds no ground when confronted by the truth.  It's our best weapon.

Anyway, all of that is inspired by my most recent run-in with a few snakes.  I am pretty sure that I'll be avoiding both kinds...physical and spiritual, even though the chance to hold such a large and powerful animal was quite the experience!

fragile: handle with care

“Don’t get all hung up on your clay jar.”  A few Sundays ago, I was the distracted one getting up and down because my work’s on-call phone refused to stay silent, and the circumstances it presented demanded my attention.  So as my pastor ironically began to talk about “quit burying God”, I knew I needed to hear its message...but I had a very difficult time.  Thankfully, God knows how to communicate with each one of us and knows what we need to hear.  Those words, “Don’t get all hung up on your clay jar,” are what lingered.  

You see, it’s not that I don’t believe God can do anything...well, in a way, I don’t.  I’ve been hung up on my clay jar.  My jar has been dry, cracked, and sometimes broken.  And instead of seeing that God, my potter, can do anything, I’ve looked at my state and said, “how can this clay jar possibly be used?”  It’s a mind full of doubt instead of possibility.

I am reminded of this verse... “This is the word that came to Jeremiah from the Lord: “Go down to the potter’s house, and there I will give you my message.” So I went down to the potter’s house, and I saw him working at the wheel. But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him. Then the word of the Lord came to me. He said, “Can I not do with you, Israel, as this potter does?” declares the Lord. “Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand,” Jeremiah 18:1-6

God can take my fragile clay jar and mold me.  He can soften the dry spots, seal the cracks, and give me the newness I need.  I just need to let Him.  Instead of trying to keep going in my condition and slapping on the sign “fragile: handle with care”, I can place myself back in the hands of my Maker to be remade.  And so I am.

missed ya'll ;)

I wonder if people have stopped checking in since it’s been so long since I’ve written!  I literally just got back from a THREE week vacation in the South...which to sum up was incredibly relaxing and I almost didn’t come back.  Haha, not really, but I thought about it.  

Highlights of my trip:
-Swimming in the warm ocean in Florida...the water is way too cold to swim in here!
-Going to the Magic Kingdom and Islands of Adventure...so fun :)
-Seeing a ton of friends, mostly NEEDTOBREATHE related
-The food.  I ate so much Southern food, as well as a few other specialties like Cuban food.  So so yummy.
-Getting to see several states I have never been to before...I love seeing new places!  I’ve decided next year I need to spend more time in Georgia and Tennessee for sure.
-Seeing my favorite band...front row...and them singing the one song I’ve been wanting to hear live!  Oh, and seeing the drummer and being able to introduce him to some friends.
-Dave Barnes live.  He’s a HOOT and such a great musician.  That was such a great show.
-Spending time with my dear friends Emily and Kyle, who moved to NC last year.

Things I’ve decided:
-I really want to live in a place that feels like the South...perhaps in the South.  I want to raise my kids on acres of land and not live at such a crazy pace.  I almost think I could get over the weather they have there to get the rest of what they have.
-After staying with Em and Kyle and eating their whole food lifestyle (mostly), I’ve decided to give it a whirl.  I just need to get in the habit of prepping my meals so it will be a little easier!
-Three week vacations were created and blessed by God.  So so good.

Firsts:
-Shot a gun for the first time.
-Tried butterbeer.  Yum!
-Went to a Zumba class.
-Went to a distillery and tasted their beverages.
-Stayed at a resort...like a legit fancy one.
-Time in Florida, Georgia, Tennessee and Virginia...

And, I may or may not have put in a request for vacation the day after I got back to work ;)  I'm excited for that one! A cruise to Mexico...where I am finally going to get to swim with dolphins!!!

All that to say, I had a wonderful vacation, and this week has been quite the adjustment to getting back in the groove of LIFE.  It's crazy how things just keep on keeping on...and how easy it can be to jump back in.  I've got some things in the mix...like going after certain goals I have for this year (like singing more and losing that weight...) and I am applying for a big promotion (!!!).  While I am qualified for the position, new things can be daunting and there is no guarantee that I'll get the position.  I'm going to try anyway.  I'll let you know...

Happy Friday! Let's hope on-call doesn't slaughter me over the weekend! (top of the list of brilliant ideas after coming back from vacation...)

I blame vacation....

I haven't posted on here in a while but I blame vacation. First I was busy prepping for it and now I'm living it! I am only just beginning and so far it's been so much fun! Stayed at a resort, swam in the Atlantic ocean, went to Disney world and Universal Islands of Adventure! Thought I'd stop by and say hi :)

This picture sums things up so far....

so blessed.

Last week I found myself having coffee with a man who was looking for a job.  My job was to get the paperwork started so we could begin to help.  As with many of the people I work with, he’s been through quite a few ups and downs and he has a real barrier to finding employment.  But he’s willing to try.

I walked away from that meeting feeling so blessed.  I hear so many stories like his each month, but there are times when it just hits me.  I am so blessed.  I just got in my car as I drove to the next meeting and thanked God for all He has been doing and all He has provided.  I have a job.  I have family who loves me.  I have friends who still like me even when I am not that great of a friend.  I have a church that calls me to have a deeper relationship with God and to move forward instead of sitting down, which sometimes sounds easier.  I have more than enough in so many areas of my life.  I really have no right to complain about the things I feel like I ought to have.  I get to take a three week vacation in just a couple of weeks.  Three weeks.  Yeah.  I am so blessed.

I had literally just come home from a three day adventure across California, in which I saw my favorite band twice and had lunch with my dad.  Not only did I see that band, (no, it couldn’t have been that band NEEDTOBREATHE...oh no, definitely not...)  I got to have that dinner with them! Some people think that because I work on their street team that I have special privileges.  I don’t.  Not really.  I am just as much of a fan girl as everyone else.  I just happen to get to be a part of the team promoting them.  And it means that they know me a little better than the rest of their fans.  Like when Joe walked right to me to say hi.  No big deal, right?  (And for those reading this and wondering if they are coming back to SLO...I’m working on it.  We may or may not have repeatedly brought it up during dinner.  I won’t take full credit if they return soon, as Joe said it himself that the SLO shows were some of his favorites, but I can say that I will have done my part.)

This is Bear. He is crazy good at what he does, which is rock n' roll.

I left their shows only feeling like I needed more...they are that good.  They keep getting better and better!  I don’t understand how they are not utterly famous yet.  All in good time, I suppose.  Anyway, all that to say I’m blessed.  I get to do things like that, going to shows and promoting my favorite musicians.  

And in two weeks, I’ll be in Florida.  I will get to visit friends, go to Disney World, see Dave Barnes and then NEEDTOBREATHE (yes, again.  You aren’t surprised, are you?), travel through 5 states, RELAX, and have fun.  So so blessed.  

It’s during times like these that I need to remember that God loves to bless His children.  I need to enjoy the good things that come along instead of wondering when the shoe is going to drop and the good fades away.  That’s like receiving a gift and telling the gift giver “thanks, but I know it’s going to break in a few days...so maybe you shouldn’t have bothered.”  Can you imagine?  But I do that when I refuse to enjoy the good God gives me.  I essentially expect Him to take it away just as I am enjoying it.  That’s not His heart.  So, I’ll keep reminding myself, I am so blessed.

Yes, I might have squealed a little when Bo replied to my tweet.  This has never happened before.

And then Seth liked my photo and commented on it.  If this doesn't prove I am a typical fan girl, seeing that I took pictures of these occurrences to show you...well, then. I don't know what to tell you.

 What's been a blessing in your life recently?

character

Seeing that I am interested in getting married someday soon, I've been reading lots of articles about dating, marriage, etc.  It is good to pay attention to topics of interest and things you want to do well.  I am not an expert at dating or marriage, but I'd like to think I am doing a good job of learning about it.  Lately, articles I've read have been focused on the man's part- letting go of "friend girls", being the pursuer, why men aren't either going to church or that the ones that are do not lead.  I've read so much information that I've observed, but as a woman, feel like there is little I can do to help bring change.  Today I read an article that focused more on women and what some of them do that hinders them in their desire for marriage.  I was grateful to see that God had worked on these things with me already...but it still got me thinking.

One of the things noted was that women will often desire the wrong things in a husband, blinding them to the deeper, more important things of the heart.  Things like physical attraction can distract woman from seeing that a man may not have the kind of character best suited for her.  I've never been that girl.  In fact, I mostly thought of this as a "guy requirement".  But as I thought about it, I've heard women say that they want a husband whose face they'd like to look at for the rest of their lives. When I look at my "list", there are very few physical attributes listed, and even those are not very specific.  I've found over the years that the men I find attractive are attractive to me because of their character and personality.  Men who I might not have initially noticed but have the kind of character I am seeking can become very attractive, while men who might've caught my eye with their looks will fade in attractiveness if they lack those qualities.  If I happen to be interested in a man who is found to be very attractive, it is because he has proven that he is a man of character. 

I trust that I will be attracted to my husband, regardless of how he lines up to the world's standards.  It sometimes boggles my mind how men operate so differently.  I know God has a purpose in creating men to be visual...but I have to admit that not only has this been a source of discouragement but also frustration.  Again, it goes deep to the heart of insecurity that says I am not attractive enough and therefore because I "don't meet the standard" somehow that means it won't happen.  Of course, God is working on this very issue with me.  I know that simply because I don't know of any men (nor haven't in a long time) who are attracted to me, it DOES NOT MEAN that no one ever will.  In fact, it's the very process of how God brings a man and woman together that shows me how absolute He is.

So, where do you rank physical attractiveness in importance?  Character?  Am I in the minority or majority of women?  If you happen to be a guy reading this, feel free to add input! 

Citizen

Today's lunchtime post is brought to you by the band called Citizen!

I was there the day Citizen had its first performance as a band.  It was a crowded room on New Year’s Eve, and Citizen was the main entertainment for the night.  I loved one of their songs so much that I pulled out my phone to capture part of it, even though I knew it would be poor quality.  It was January 1, 2009 and that song was “Heaven Bound”.  A few years later, that song is FINALLY recorded and almost in my hands.  It’s been a journey for them, one that I feel is really just beginning.  I can’t wait for their second EP release!

The people in Citizen are people I call friends.  I’ve had the privilege of singing with all of them in our church’s worship teams over the years.  I know they are talented.  But I also know their hearts.  They love Jesus so much and they want to write music that impacts people.  They sum it up best when they say, “We believe what we sing & sing what we believe...”

You can check them out at a few places, as they have strewn pieces of their new EP across a few sources.  (Try HERE and HERE) My favorites for the new EP are “Heaven Bound”, “Restart”, “Love is the Anchor” and “Sunrise”.  You’ll have to check them out and let me know your favorites.  Make sure to like them on Facebook and follow them on Twitter too!

this just happened...

My co-worker and I both have Siri on our phones and for a little Friday fun, he decided to have Siri call him a few ridiculous things, as Siri will respond to you by name.  You can ask her to call you anything you want.  Here's how this went down:

Co-worker: Call me Rock God
Siri: From now on, I'll call you Rock Goo
Co-worker: No
Co-worker: Call me Rock God
Siri: From now on, I'll call you Rock God
Co-worker: Call me Sup
Siri: From now on, I'll call you Suck
Co-worker: No
Co-worker: Call me Sup
Siri: From now on, I'll call you Suck
Co-worker: Call me Su-up

Siri: From now on, I'll call you Suppa
Co-worker: No
Co-worker: Call me Sup-p-p

Siri: From now on, I'll call you Sucker
Co-worker: No

Let's just say I was crying tears of laughter...

HAPPY FRIDAY :)

lunchtime letters

Today's post is inspired by Megan at Mackey Madness, as she wrote her own letters last week. :)

Dear Cold- Stop your assault on my body, especially my nose.  One week has been more than enough.

Dear Coffee- Thank you for your warm goodness on this Monday.  And your abundance, seeing as I have had two cups already...

Dear Hunger Games trilogy- You were crazy intense and good.  Why can’t there be more to feed my fiction addiction?  And can it be March 23rd yet so I can go see the movie?

Dear Girl Scouts- Why do your cookies have to be so good and yet so terrible for you?  Stop looking so adorable when you ask me to buy them...

Dear Laundry- Why can’t you wash and dry and put away yourself?  I’d appreciate it...

Dear Roommate- Thank you for wearing the same size in shoes and having awesome taste in shoes. (and really there are a bunch of other things too but I am wearing your boots, so I thank you for that.)

Dear Pandora- Thank you for creating enjoyable music stations that my co-worker and I can listen to as we slave away at work.

Dear Jesus- THANK YOU. You know what for...

Dear NEEDTOBREATHE- I am trying not to be too bummed that you are not coming to SLO on this tour, and that I am having to travel to see you.  From what I’ve heard though, your shows are only getting better and you picked Ben Rector to open for you...so I am somewhat okay with this.  I will never stop asking you to come back though.

Dear Gas Prices- I’m gonna have to ask you to stop increasing.  I know you are the reason I bought my hybrid, but even I cringe when I see how high you are getting.

Happy Monday!

sometimes & always

Sometimes: When guys ask me who I like, especially to maybe help encourage him to ask me for coffee, I am tempted to tell them.
Always: I don’t. (Unless it’s someone I really trust/know that they don’t like me like that so I know I won’t hurt their feelings...which leaves only a few)  I also always wonder if I should...if it would help or hurt the cause.

Sometimes: My co-worker and I listen to different Pandora stations based on the day of the week.
Always: You could catch us singing along...often somewhat obnoxiously.  And also repeating the lyrics for emphasis.  We keep it real.

Sometimes: I think about radically changing my eating habits...
Always: I see the cookie, brownie, etc and think I could not handle that radical of a change. Haha...

Sometimes: I go through superficial stages in writing on my blog...like right now.
Always: I come back around full circle.

Sometimes: I check in on my Google+ account thinking I’m missing out on stuff...
Always: I find little has occurred since the last time (often a month or more) I stopped by.  So little that I have yet to put that app on my phone.

Sometimes: I think it’s REALLY obvious to a guy that I like him.
Always: I remember that it’s not, and am somewhat thankful. Somewhat.

Sometimes: I wish I could buy a new outfit every week...sounds fun, right?
Always: I remember how FULL my closet is, how I’m out of hangers, and how much I hate putting clothes away.  So I don’t.

Sometimes: I wish I didn’t have to work.
Always: I realize I’d be bored out of my mind AND broke. Truthfully, even when I am not super excited about my job, I like what I do and am grateful.

Valentine's Day

Ohhhhh Valentine's Day, how I have a love/hate relationship with you.  All of the advertisements, all of the hype...all working together to remind me that I am single.  Because it is so prominent, people are bold to ask if you have plans, if you are dating someone, etc.  Reminded once again. 

I do have plans.  I don't know much of the details, but I've gathered that it is a fairly large group and we are dressing up.  I was asked yesterday, however, if I wanted to go on a real date.  One-on-one, taken out so that I could be known.  Let me clarify, this question was posed in the hypothetical, by a girl who was dismayed at the thought of many of us single ladies going on another group "date", the equivalent to a fancier hang out that takes place on a regular basis.  My heart and my mouth said YES.  Of course I do! While I am really grateful to have a group of guys who want to do SOMETHING in order to make us ladies feel special and to get us out of the house on a night that would normally keep us home bound or babysitting, I would rather be on a date.  Week after week, whether at group hang outs or at church, I am lost in the sea of other women where it is rare that a conversation makes its way past the somewhat superficial.  A one-on-one hang out (it doesn't have to be a date) pushes past all of that and forces the two people to actually get to know each other.  Maybe it'll be worth another hang out, maybe it won't.  But we'd know.  And we could move on past that unknown of whether or not that person we are attracted to has something deeper to connect to. 

Group hang outs are a great place to start.  I'm not knocking those. In fact, they are needed.  That is where two people can meet and build an interest in a safe environment.  The problem develops when no one is willing to step out and say, "hey, want to grab coffee sometime?", and all that continues to happen is the group hang out.  People can develop something here, but it's rare.  There are too many distractions...and as witnessed at a recent one, the scene often becomes much like a junior high dance.  Guys on one side, girls on the other.  The guys and girls that DO mix are often the ones who mix all the time and have established a clear line of friendship.  It's almost painfully amusing to watch.

Oh Valentine's Day, what am I to do with you?  Every year, you swing in with a hope of something special and so far leave with some level of disappointment.  I know this will not always be so.  Hence the love/hate relationship.

With one day left, I am pretty sure I will find myself tomorrow night in the sea of other women, bumping elbows with gentlemen full of potential.  I will laugh and have a good time, but will likely walk away still mostly unknown.  One sweet Valentine's Day that will change.  There is still hope for this one, but it's fading fast.

sometimes and always: lunch time edition

Sometimes: I wish I could sleep in on Saturdays.
Always: I remember the awesome things I get to do on Saturday mornings and no longer regret not sleeping in...like choir and adopt-a-block!


(I am hiding behind the soloist in the yellow sweater.  This was during practice.)

Sometimes: I nearly kill the plant I have on my desk at work, even though it is right there.
Always: It comes back to life, sometimes with a little help from some diet coke ;)

Sometimes: I want to come to work in my pajamas.
Always: I put on nice clothes and make an effort to look professional, even if no one will see me all day.

Sometimes: I choose not to exercise when I should.
Always: I regret it.

Sometimes: I think about going back to my natural hair color of blonde.
Always: I remember the last time I did, and how it took me a month to get used to it. I think I like having darker hair now better.

Sometimes: I think about getting a tattoo.

Always: I imagine myself as an 80 year old with a tattoo and LAUGH. Because I can't picture that being real. It's just not me.

My blogger friend Megan does these too, check out the other ones! :)

i wish...

I wish that brownies were calorie free, and were instead very, very good for you...

I wish that the word "mojo" didn't have such a sexual connotation to it, because it's the best word to describe what I felt like I got back yesterday. (I feel fairly confident that I looked good yesterday, confirmed by a guy friend who stared at me for a moment before he found words to say...which were that I looked "sporty" and "looked good".  By the way, I think the word sporty was not the word he was going for.)

I wish nap times were part of every work day.

I wish that I appreciated waking up early more. I love the idea of getting up early with a cup of coffee and just hanging out with Jesus.  When faced with the reality of the morning, that idea somehow seems sadly much less appealing.

I wish that I was better at living like I am saved than I am.  People know I am a Christian, but it doesn't seem to make as much of an impact as I'd like to see.

I wish I had the resources to make sure everyone was fed and clothed and sheltered.  I do what I can, but some days it doesn't seem to be enough.

I wish that my laundry would put itself away. :)

Just some random wishes for a Monday afternoon.  Hope your week is off to a great start!

hello 2012

So. It's been a while *cough almost a month cough* since I've posted here.  The good news is that I have been busy running around and enjoying myself.  Since day 1 of 2012, things have been exciting and I have hopes that this year could be really great.

A snapshot of the Rose Parade!

-I went to the Rose Parade for the first time ever.  Not only did I go, but I full on camped out on the streets of Pasadena with a few of my close friends and got front row seats.  It was an experience of a lifetime and I had such a great time doing it!

-Remember when I did that list of things called "ten days. ten secrets."?  Well, the possibility of being able to collaborate in a band came up...and although it hasn't come to fruition yet, I am super honored and floored by the consideration.  I think of Taylor Swift's video where she keeps saying "it's my dream".

-I've begun to see God unfold what He spoke to me about 2012 and it being a year of depth.  I love that my relationship with Him is getting deeper and deeper, and He is showing me how to have better relationships with my friends and family.  I've been having a lot of fun spending time with people I care about and expanding new friendships.

-I've recently come to the conclusion that I could easily be a vegetarian.  I won't but I could.  It's amazing though how healthy food can still be pretty tasty!

I hope 2012 has started off well for you! I promise I won't stay away so long next time ;)

award!!!

I got my first blog award the other day from the lovely Emily at Amazing Grapes...it's called the Liebster Award.  It goes to anyone who has under 200 followers who deserves a little more recognition.  And she picked me! 

The rules of said award are as follows:
1. Show your thanks by linking to the award giver.
2. Leave links to 5 of your top blogs and leave a sweet comment letting them know.
3. Post the award on your blog.
4. Enjoy and bask in the love.

Sadly, I follow only a few smaller blogs.  It doesn't mean that my choices are any less significant and as I introduce them, I hope you see why.

Katie at Concrete and Grace: Katie is a dear friend of mine whose wit far surpasses mine.  She doesn't blog often but I always enjoy her postings.  She has a way with words and a clever view on life.  And I love her bunches and bunches!

Christianna at The Girl with the Blue Bow: I met this girl in a hip hop class and instantly liked her! She's clever and artsy and talented...and her blog is a reflection of all of that! Her blog is well on its way to being over 200 followers, but I am proud to be one of her first. :)

Anne Therese at Then Writes my Soul: Anne Therese was my first friend here in SLO, and is an incredible woman of worship.  She also doesn't post often, but each of her posts speak deeply to me.  She's wise and gifted, and I love reading her blog!

Ashley at Episodes of a Mixed Girl: I am not sure how we connected, but this girl is fun! Maybe it's because she's from the Carolinas (an area near and dear to my heart...and stomach, hee hee) but I like what she has to say!

Hannah at One and Only: This girl is a fellow NEEDTOBREATHE fan, and that is how I "met" her.  She's got great stories to tell and I love her photography! Check her out!

There you go, folks! An award brought me out of my blog drought.  And I am happy to share the love.  I'll be back shortly with an update on the big L-I-F-E!